I remember small things... instances... from the time I was growing up. Before our house underwent extensive reconstruction, the door mostly used for entering and leaving was the one in the gallery instead of the one in the kitchen.
The gallery was (is) this long hallway, a good 20-30 feet ( I think... Im bad with estimates), lit by a number of small dome lights that filled the place with a warm orange glow. There, at the end of this hallway, was a big aquarium with different fish, most of them gold fishes, maybe because that's what was most easily available in quetta.
What I remember most vividly about this gallery was when mum would use this door to leave for work. I remember her dressing up, the good bye hugs n kisses we would get, the click-clackin of her heels, her disappearing form and her perfume in the hallway.
I remember lingering in the gallery for the longest of times after she would leave, standing in front of the aquarium, watching the fish swim. Amii used to wear Chanel No.5 and you could still smell it there for hours after she would leave. To us, as kids, the name of the perfume never held any significance. That smell was simply mummy ki khushboo.
Today, as I dressed for uni, I opened my cupboard and there it was, a whole bottle full of mummy ki khushboo. I sprayed on a little so the smell would linger around me for the rest of the day, reminding me of her, tricking my mind somehow into thinking that she was around there somewhere nearby.
I dunno. Maybe Im just missing amii a lot...
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Ha ha! Why am I not surprised...
| You Are 60% Weird |
 You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! |
Wicker Park
I just said the last pic from Devdas... I dint say last pic did i :D ... Diane Kreuger and josh Hartnett
Monday, September 19, 2005
Movie freak!
Yes, Im crazy about movies. So sue me :P
Saw Josh Hartnett’s Wicker Park the other day.
And Im still in awe.
I love expressions, I love details, I love hidden underlying meanings.
What a wonderfully weird and beautiful movie.
Does love and obsession like that exist…
How I love movies. The right moment, the right song and all my senses come to life. The real world slips away without a moment’s notice and there I am, sitting on the floor in the airport, trying to keep from dying, knowing I really lost him… him being an unparalleled world for me, an unparalleled way of existence, everything I had always known I wanted, and everything I had never known I could want… I had lost him again. Why I lost him? I would mourn that later… just the I lost him again part had me in a cramping, sickening pit.
And then the single whisper, the slight movement, the vague feeling of him… turn around and there he is…
How wonderfully the last scene was acted out, Im still reeling from the surrealness of it. The way he sat down behind her, the way he looked at her, the way she felt his presence, the way they hugged. It was so… beautiful. Pure human emotions. Life-like.
It took my breath away.
That’s what I love about movies. If nicely made and wonderfully acted out, they take on a life of their own. Like Devdas. The new one with Shah Rukh Khan. The serenity shown in Madhuri’s character, the depth in it that one wouldnt fathom in someone of her profession otherwise. Look beyond what I do, she says quietly, see im human, I can love and bleed, too. The way she looks at him and the way she would say a single line... made me want to watch the movie again and again and again. That's what love is like i kept thinking. And Shah Rukh Khan. Where do I begin? I like him a lot, but I think he usually shows this typical way of acting… I cant explain it… the way he carries out his lines and smiles is similar in all movies except a few, Devdas being one of them. Now his acting in that was epic, monumental, excellent. I cried through out the movie. Every scene of his was brilliant, every line said with such sheer brilliance that only Shah Rukh Khan could possess. His timing perfect, his tone perfect, his gestures perfect without being too plastic. Everything in him was so human and so raw, pulsating and aching that what happened to him still has me in a very painful grip, every time I think of that movie. And the cinematography, the sets, the dresses. Oh my GOD!!! Exquisite! So rich, they speak volumes by themselves. You can actually envision the floor Madhuri dances on beneath your own feet. Beautiful in its perfection is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of this movie.
That is the **magic **of cinema for me. Good actors plus a little effort put into the rest of the works, and you will have a movie so creatively wonderful that its perfection will echo into eons.
Saw Josh Hartnett’s Wicker Park the other day.
And Im still in awe.
I love expressions, I love details, I love hidden underlying meanings.
What a wonderfully weird and beautiful movie.
Does love and obsession like that exist…
How I love movies. The right moment, the right song and all my senses come to life. The real world slips away without a moment’s notice and there I am, sitting on the floor in the airport, trying to keep from dying, knowing I really lost him… him being an unparalleled world for me, an unparalleled way of existence, everything I had always known I wanted, and everything I had never known I could want… I had lost him again. Why I lost him? I would mourn that later… just the I lost him again part had me in a cramping, sickening pit.
And then the single whisper, the slight movement, the vague feeling of him… turn around and there he is…
How wonderfully the last scene was acted out, Im still reeling from the surrealness of it. The way he sat down behind her, the way he looked at her, the way she felt his presence, the way they hugged. It was so… beautiful. Pure human emotions. Life-like.
It took my breath away.
That’s what I love about movies. If nicely made and wonderfully acted out, they take on a life of their own. Like Devdas. The new one with Shah Rukh Khan. The serenity shown in Madhuri’s character, the depth in it that one wouldnt fathom in someone of her profession otherwise. Look beyond what I do, she says quietly, see im human, I can love and bleed, too. The way she looks at him and the way she would say a single line... made me want to watch the movie again and again and again. That's what love is like i kept thinking. And Shah Rukh Khan. Where do I begin? I like him a lot, but I think he usually shows this typical way of acting… I cant explain it… the way he carries out his lines and smiles is similar in all movies except a few, Devdas being one of them. Now his acting in that was epic, monumental, excellent. I cried through out the movie. Every scene of his was brilliant, every line said with such sheer brilliance that only Shah Rukh Khan could possess. His timing perfect, his tone perfect, his gestures perfect without being too plastic. Everything in him was so human and so raw, pulsating and aching that what happened to him still has me in a very painful grip, every time I think of that movie. And the cinematography, the sets, the dresses. Oh my GOD!!! Exquisite! So rich, they speak volumes by themselves. You can actually envision the floor Madhuri dances on beneath your own feet. Beautiful in its perfection is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of this movie.
That is the **magic **of cinema for me. Good actors plus a little effort put into the rest of the works, and you will have a movie so creatively wonderful that its perfection will echo into eons.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Life’s a bitch… now so am I.
-Batman Returns
Its been a weird couple of weeks at college lately. All us friends have somehow metamorphosized (is that even a word??) into super-bitches. we bite, we claw, we bitch, we do the whole routine. Raging tempers. And patience seems to be coming in smaller and smaller doses.
The thing being, I like my friends a lot. They are really nice people. All of them. I hate the fact that we get irritated so often, lose our patience with each other so easily and snap at each other so much. Maybe it’s the fact that the beginning days are gone, the need to get into each other’s good books are gone. And now that we know each other a little more, we have found out things (personality traits) about each other that we cannot quite stand. To me, that still doesn’t seem like a good enough reason though to make each other miserable. We get irritated so easily and are mean to each other in ways more than just harsh words. And its not just any one of us. Its all of us… baari baari. I hate it. I never became friends with these girls with the intention of being bitchy to them. So ok, we have our differences. Who doesn’t? personally it would be a tad bit dull if we didn’t. now if these differences were something I couldn’t work around, I would probably not hang around with them anymore. Im not the type of person who has patience to do things I don’t wanna do (my bad, I know).
I just don’t know what is wrong… has Med-school finally got its claws into us??? Has the extra-stress gotten us into being the extremely anal people that we are now, so much so that we completely refuse to be patient, considerate and just the plain nice human beings that we all are?
-Batman Returns
Its been a weird couple of weeks at college lately. All us friends have somehow metamorphosized (is that even a word??) into super-bitches. we bite, we claw, we bitch, we do the whole routine. Raging tempers. And patience seems to be coming in smaller and smaller doses.
The thing being, I like my friends a lot. They are really nice people. All of them. I hate the fact that we get irritated so often, lose our patience with each other so easily and snap at each other so much. Maybe it’s the fact that the beginning days are gone, the need to get into each other’s good books are gone. And now that we know each other a little more, we have found out things (personality traits) about each other that we cannot quite stand. To me, that still doesn’t seem like a good enough reason though to make each other miserable. We get irritated so easily and are mean to each other in ways more than just harsh words. And its not just any one of us. Its all of us… baari baari. I hate it. I never became friends with these girls with the intention of being bitchy to them. So ok, we have our differences. Who doesn’t? personally it would be a tad bit dull if we didn’t. now if these differences were something I couldn’t work around, I would probably not hang around with them anymore. Im not the type of person who has patience to do things I don’t wanna do (my bad, I know).
I just don’t know what is wrong… has Med-school finally got its claws into us??? Has the extra-stress gotten us into being the extremely anal people that we are now, so much so that we completely refuse to be patient, considerate and just the plain nice human beings that we all are?
Monday, September 12, 2005
Rain… beautiful, beautiful rain...
It has been raining heavily on and off since three days. Surprising, since the rainy months for Karachi (July and August) have long gone. It used to alternate between cloudy and hot/humid in those months with a few random rain drops here and there. But no rain.
No proper rain.
The type that comes down heavily and blankets you.
Everything looks greener today. Colors more vibrant, the sky clearer than it has been in days. Even the birds, while water-drenched and trying to dry themselves, hiding under roofs, seem to be chirping louder. As if their spirits have lifted again after the whole waiting-for-rain episode. Or perhaps they are just thanking God in a very loud and noisy manner. Lol, I dont mind the noise. Id rather like to think it was the second case, them thanking Allah for sending this beautiful rain.
Im drinking water from this totally adorable white and pink flowered mug that Sush gave me.
*** No, im not a weirdo who uses mugs for water and tumblers for tea n coffee... i just happen to be in a habit of drinking a lot of water and a little while from now ill switch over to drinking coffee in the mug.***
Its colors seem to reflect my mood... the pink is so..... pink! for the lack of any other word. The flowers are huge, beautiful in their own essence, the mug perfect in its perfectness.
I feel that way today.
Beautiful. Untarnished. Unspoilt.
I feel perfect and smug.
With my beautiful colors and big flowers and balance between my heart and mind.
I feel perfect.
I think i should join the birds outside, be loud and noisy, sing praises in the name of my Lord.
Beautiful, heavenly rain.
How you healed my soul, even if it is just for a while...
No proper rain.
The type that comes down heavily and blankets you.
Everything looks greener today. Colors more vibrant, the sky clearer than it has been in days. Even the birds, while water-drenched and trying to dry themselves, hiding under roofs, seem to be chirping louder. As if their spirits have lifted again after the whole waiting-for-rain episode. Or perhaps they are just thanking God in a very loud and noisy manner. Lol, I dont mind the noise. Id rather like to think it was the second case, them thanking Allah for sending this beautiful rain.
Im drinking water from this totally adorable white and pink flowered mug that Sush gave me.
*** No, im not a weirdo who uses mugs for water and tumblers for tea n coffee... i just happen to be in a habit of drinking a lot of water and a little while from now ill switch over to drinking coffee in the mug.***
Its colors seem to reflect my mood... the pink is so..... pink! for the lack of any other word. The flowers are huge, beautiful in their own essence, the mug perfect in its perfectness.
I feel that way today.
Beautiful. Untarnished. Unspoilt.
I feel perfect and smug.
With my beautiful colors and big flowers and balance between my heart and mind.
I feel perfect.
I think i should join the birds outside, be loud and noisy, sing praises in the name of my Lord.
Beautiful, heavenly rain.
How you healed my soul, even if it is just for a while...
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Just wondering...
How many people are there in the world, right now, living and breathing?
How many have already passed away?
How many are still to come?
Im bad with facts and figures, so im guessing a HUGE group....
Allah loves each of His 'banda/bandi' 70 times more than a mother loves her child.
So I am just imagining Allah loving each person in the HUGE group, 70 times more than my mum loves me.... i feel light-headed....
Allah has so much love for us... I feel blessed...
How many have already passed away?
How many are still to come?
Im bad with facts and figures, so im guessing a HUGE group....
Allah loves each of His 'banda/bandi' 70 times more than a mother loves her child.
So I am just imagining Allah loving each person in the HUGE group, 70 times more than my mum loves me.... i feel light-headed....
Allah has so much love for us... I feel blessed...
Today, Allah, I wish for patience...
when people push all my wrong buttons,
when they get on my nerves,
when they act obnoxious and arrogant,
Allah, grant me patience so I can hold my tongue.
when my best intentions are met with hostile undue reactions,
when I get a pile of crap hurled my way for being who I am and for standing on my principles,
when people walk all over me, taking advantage of the fact that I have been taught not to reply back,
Allah, grant me patience so I dont bite their heads off.
when all my hard work has had no effect,
when my time is running out,
when all I can think of doing now is giving up on it and sinking further into my glum pit,
Allah, grant me patience so I can hold on a little longer.
Tomorrow maybe ill ask for a Mercedes Benz... :D
but today, i would just like a good dose of Patience.
when people push all my wrong buttons,
when they get on my nerves,
when they act obnoxious and arrogant,
Allah, grant me patience so I can hold my tongue.
when my best intentions are met with hostile undue reactions,
when I get a pile of crap hurled my way for being who I am and for standing on my principles,
when people walk all over me, taking advantage of the fact that I have been taught not to reply back,
Allah, grant me patience so I dont bite their heads off.
when all my hard work has had no effect,
when my time is running out,
when all I can think of doing now is giving up on it and sinking further into my glum pit,
Allah, grant me patience so I can hold on a little longer.
Tomorrow maybe ill ask for a Mercedes Benz... :D
but today, i would just like a good dose of Patience.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
I think we do ourselves great injustice when we do not allow oursleves to feel... something that could open our minds and hearts to amazing possibilities... something that could enrich our lives beyond imagination... something that could perhaps be the best thing that ever happened to us...
I think we do oursleves great injustice when we do not allow ourselves to feel love.
Just because we think we are so much better or could do so much better than the person on the recieving/giving end of that love
I think we do oursleves great injustice when we do not allow ourselves to feel love.
Just because we think we are so much better or could do so much better than the person on the recieving/giving end of that love
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Female Beauty....
many words, poems, songs have been written about it...
but I dont think anything has ever done justice to it, the way Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's work has in this song of his...
That is what moves me about poetry… something so simple… like someone’s eyes perhaps… can be described in so many ways using the simplest of words to create an effect that is so enormously profound...
lol, the romantic that I am, this song, I believe, is what love is all about… loving someone so perfectly that she seems almost ethereal…
Anyway here is the song…
Afreen afreen
Husn e jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
To bhi dekhey agar
To kahe hum nasheen
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Aisa dekha nahi khoobsurat koyi
Jism jaisey ajanta ki murat koyi
Jism jaisey nigahon ka jadoo koyi
Jism naghma koyi, jism khusboo koi
Jism jaisey machalti huwi raagni
Jism jaisey mehakti huwi chandni
Jism jaisey k khilta hua ek chaman
Jism jaisey k suraj ki pehli kiran
Jism tarshaah hua dilkasho dilnasheen
Sandaleen sandaleen mar mareen
Sandaleen sandaleen mar mareen
Ankhein dekhii to mey dekhta reh gaya
Jaam do aur dono hi do atisha
Ankhein ya makaidey k woh do baab hain
Ankhein un ko kahoon ya kahoon khawab hai
Ankhein neechi huwi to haya ban gayii
Ankhein unchi huwi to duaa ban gayii
Ankhein uth kar jhuki to adaa ban gayii
Ankhein jhukh key uthi to qazza ban gayii
Ankhein jin mey hai qaid asmano zameen
Nargasii nargassi surmagii surmagii
Nargasii nargasii surmagii surmagii
Husn e jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
To bhi dekhey agar
To kahey hum nasheen
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
many words, poems, songs have been written about it...
but I dont think anything has ever done justice to it, the way Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's work has in this song of his...
That is what moves me about poetry… something so simple… like someone’s eyes perhaps… can be described in so many ways using the simplest of words to create an effect that is so enormously profound...
lol, the romantic that I am, this song, I believe, is what love is all about… loving someone so perfectly that she seems almost ethereal…
Anyway here is the song…
Afreen afreen
Husn e jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
To bhi dekhey agar
To kahe hum nasheen
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Aisa dekha nahi khoobsurat koyi
Jism jaisey ajanta ki murat koyi
Jism jaisey nigahon ka jadoo koyi
Jism naghma koyi, jism khusboo koi
Jism jaisey machalti huwi raagni
Jism jaisey mehakti huwi chandni
Jism jaisey k khilta hua ek chaman
Jism jaisey k suraj ki pehli kiran
Jism tarshaah hua dilkasho dilnasheen
Sandaleen sandaleen mar mareen
Sandaleen sandaleen mar mareen
Ankhein dekhii to mey dekhta reh gaya
Jaam do aur dono hi do atisha
Ankhein ya makaidey k woh do baab hain
Ankhein un ko kahoon ya kahoon khawab hai
Ankhein neechi huwi to haya ban gayii
Ankhein unchi huwi to duaa ban gayii
Ankhein uth kar jhuki to adaa ban gayii
Ankhein jhukh key uthi to qazza ban gayii
Ankhein jin mey hai qaid asmano zameen
Nargasii nargassi surmagii surmagii
Nargasii nargasii surmagii surmagii
Husn e jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
To bhi dekhey agar
To kahey hum nasheen
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Truly entertaining…
During channel surfing today, me and Honey (Honey and I… whatever!) came across the Pakistani movie channel, Filmazia. Now when they say, our movies are pure entertainment, take their word for it. Lol, seriously.
So we sat there wide-eyed. There was a song playing where this huge (im not kidding… huge!!!) female was dancing, and apparently trying to please a very disgruntled and rutha hua yaar. She would hop for him, run circles around him, mess with his hair and than pull his cheeks… it would have all been a little cute. Lol, but what made it funny was the fact that the hero was even bigger than her, they looked like a pair of dancing pandas, and he had a flat burger cut and big moustache, which the female was pulling again and again. Lol, it was hilarious.
Then comes the even funnier part… lol, yes there is more, I told you pure entertainment, they wont disappoint you… so after the song ends, Mr. and Mrs. Panda, whose screen names are apparently Shehzada and Shehzadi (im not kiddin), are cuddling around when a villian comes along… he is super-smart, pencil-thin in front of these two. So he looks at them with a smirk on his face and tells Shehzada
Pyaar to bahot karliya… ab thordi maar bi kha lo…
Lol, thats when I fell off the couch laughing and my sister, taking mercy on me, changed the channel.
Next time someone asks me why I dont watch Pakistani movies, ill make sure I tell them this ‘nice and entertaining’ movie.
So we sat there wide-eyed. There was a song playing where this huge (im not kidding… huge!!!) female was dancing, and apparently trying to please a very disgruntled and rutha hua yaar. She would hop for him, run circles around him, mess with his hair and than pull his cheeks… it would have all been a little cute. Lol, but what made it funny was the fact that the hero was even bigger than her, they looked like a pair of dancing pandas, and he had a flat burger cut and big moustache, which the female was pulling again and again. Lol, it was hilarious.
Then comes the even funnier part… lol, yes there is more, I told you pure entertainment, they wont disappoint you… so after the song ends, Mr. and Mrs. Panda, whose screen names are apparently Shehzada and Shehzadi (im not kiddin), are cuddling around when a villian comes along… he is super-smart, pencil-thin in front of these two. So he looks at them with a smirk on his face and tells Shehzada
Pyaar to bahot karliya… ab thordi maar bi kha lo…
Lol, thats when I fell off the couch laughing and my sister, taking mercy on me, changed the channel.
Next time someone asks me why I dont watch Pakistani movies, ill make sure I tell them this ‘nice and entertaining’ movie.
Friday, September 02, 2005
An old favourite of mine, this song makes me want to dance around in circles... the guy's voice makes me smile...
Being one of those grains of sand
I get blown all around the world
And what I make of it
Oh I don’t know
what's the meaning of it
oh I don't know
I’ve been around so many times
that the world's turning in my mind
what do I think of it
oh it's so so
what more can you be than the things they say you've been
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
just say you love me
just say you love me
I never ever realized
it's so easy to make you cry
but did I break a bit
oh I hope no
have you forgot about it
oh I hope so
but you never ever wonder why
in every single pair of eyes
there is a hunger in it
or it's soul dies
what more can you be than the things they say you've been
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
just say you love me
come on now darling say you love me
oh yeah please please say you love me
come on say you love me
Say you love me - Simply Red
Being one of those grains of sand
I get blown all around the world
And what I make of it
Oh I don’t know
what's the meaning of it
oh I don't know
I’ve been around so many times
that the world's turning in my mind
what do I think of it
oh it's so so
what more can you be than the things they say you've been
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
just say you love me
just say you love me
I never ever realized
it's so easy to make you cry
but did I break a bit
oh I hope no
have you forgot about it
oh I hope so
but you never ever wonder why
in every single pair of eyes
there is a hunger in it
or it's soul dies
what more can you be than the things they say you've been
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
just say you love me
come on now darling say you love me
oh yeah please please say you love me
come on say you love me
Say you love me - Simply Red
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