Did ya hear... 22 is the new 18 :D

Sigh. I wanna complain about life. Thats what I do most of the time, dont I? But have actually gotten too tired of myself lately. How my sisters and my friends bear me, I have no clue, but Im a little sick of my constant complaining. Ha. Funny haina? Faizo babe gets the credit. She complained enough in one day to make me realize how not-very-fun for the listener it was. So the grinch has been sent off to a corner for some time.

Or maybe its just the festivity of a Coffee chocolate mousse cake that's doing this talking.

Still no clue where the money went. Hope its around here somewhere and not stolen. Cuz then that would be just plain disappointing. I believe in the goodness of people too much.

I made a seperate blog to work as a gratitude journal, but dont feel like posting in it right now. Maybe I will. Some other time. Heard it's very "therapeutic". But for now here's what I am grateful about today:

27. Sep. 2006 (11:37 pm)

1. Sistaz... thank you for the yummy cake, and thank you for knowing chocolate makes me happy. Would be even better if you wouldnt fight with me. Just lemme get away with being right every now and then, wont you :D

2. Mummy... Adorable mum, you are everything I wanna be someday. Thank you for being who you are. I just wish I didn't miss you so much. I miss everyday life with you.

3. Faith... thank you Allah for blessing me with complete absolute faith. Being able to turn to You for every single detail in my life is what Im most grateful about.

P.s:
28th september, 2006. 1:07 am

Some more things to be grateful about:

4. Friends who remember my birthday. My birthday isn't that important to me but when you guys start calling and keep calling till u get through, you make me feel GREAT :D

5. Feb, 2001. You would be there to talk to me 8 am sharp your time zone no matter what. Sep, 2006. You still haven't changed.

6. 2nd Oct 2005. I didn't understand why. Now I do. SubhanAllah, We are the grandest designs of our Lord.

The countdown has begun. Two more days to turning 22. And somehow, I'm not looking forward to it.

Not the way I looked forward to every birthday from the twelfth to the eighteenth year. Short of shaking pom-poms and doing cartwheels, I did everything I could possibly think of to celebrate growing up. Every year had been different then. I had looked back at a weridly wonderful year spent, and looked forward to the coming one with hope and anticipation. And yet, somehow, for the same exact reason, I'd like to pause and rewind my life a bit before the 22 arives with its full and final glory. I dont wanna turn 22. I try looking back and then I wish I would just frikkin stop with the whole trying to look back business. Because I have nothing, absolutely nothing to show for my last 4 years. My life's been at a stasis since I turned 19. I see no change in myself. Except the ones that are for the worst and nothing to write home about. Instead of growing as a person and an individual, I have apparently reversed and lost great big chunks of myself, chunks that I considered good and pure and simple and worthy. There have been no achievements at any level. I have not improved in anyway. My mental, physical and emotional states have pretty much detoriated. I have nothing to show for the last 4 years of my life. Nothing.

And that is what depresses me about turning 22. Happy Birthday to me!

Memphis calling me up one day before a major test that we were suppoosed to study for atleast for 2 weeks:

Memphis: Heeeeeeelpppp!
Me: What???
Memphis: Help kardoooo yaar!
Me: Lemme guess. You havent started studying YET for tomorrow and you want to know what topics are important, right?
Memphis: Im still amazed at how you know me so well.
Me: Lol, stop bullshitting. Paper pen lao, ill tell you the topics.

(2 mins spent looking for a pen)

Memphis: Ok, shoot.
Me: Ok, topic 1. Sewage sickness.
Memphis: Crap.
Me: Yeah, it basically means that.
Memphis: No. Crap. My pen just finished.
Me: hahahahahhhh why am I not surprised?

Here comes Bachelor No.1...

Currently the favourite game at my place is Who can we set Sohnii up with? The participants are my evil sisters and their some-what evil friends. The poor victim is me (and I am not enjoying it, contrary to what you think). The object of the game is to come up with an eligible bachelor, try to sell his idea to me and then attempt to fix the both of us up.

The ideal bachelors line-up has included, till now, their totally delicious, totally good looking, totally narcissistic friend. Rejected on the basis of being a big huge Snob. Next in line was their Chicago-born who had major brownie points for being an eklota bacha. Unfortunately, it turned out to be false information and he was, infact, the middle one in three brothers. So they rejected him too. (Funny that you should think I would be the one to reject a guy since I was being set up. It doesn’t quite work that way with this lot. They choose the guy, they reject him. Just adds to the list, as another one of those things I don’t really understand about them.)

Then their was the Super-nova Wolverine who happens to be pretty cute but shorter than me, and Crazy Mayo who is a friend of mine, cute in a very boy-next-door way but has the weirdest sense of humor this side of the planet. Him, I personally rejected. A girl’s gotta have her laughs proper. And now their nazr-e-karam has shifted to my friend Memphis. Please note my emphasis on the words my friend. That rejection was by me too, simply on the basis of those two very words.

The conclusion is that while they have their daily laughs, picking out guys and dissecting their very fabric of being discussing their personalities, I sit back and think being the youngest in their group isn’t so cool anymore. Like my dad always says, “its your curse. You have to live with it. Sag baash, duktarey/bache khurd na baash.” (Translated from Persian: better a dog then the youngest daughter/son.)

Sigh. I hate hospitals. Yes, this is coming from someone who is in 4th year of Med-school, just a year and a half shy from graduating. I hate hospitals. Even if they are as nice as AKU.

My friend's dad is sick. He had a stroke. Please people, everyone who reads this, please say a little prayer for him to get better. You might not know my friend, (he's a great dude by the way). You might not know his Dad, (I dont either). But he's someone's dad, someone's husband, someone's family. So please, just pray for him to get better.

Dad is here. Before I get used to the fact of having him around, he leaves. Two days are never enough.


I sent the email. Now, Im wondering two things.
1. Is that email address still working?
2. Was it stupid of me to send that email?


Something I read in The Garrick Year by Margaret Drabble. I haven't associated with anything so strongly since a very long time.

I find it takes very little time for me to become thoroughly bored. To me life seems to be perpetually on the verge of extinction, and I could bear anything rather than die in a moment of boredom. I feel that I am insulting something when I am bored. I began to miss London: it was not so much that I had many close friends there, for I have few friends, but I missed variety. My tastes are shallow; my life is shallow; and I like anonymity, change and fame. In Hereford I could have none of these things: I was condemned to familiarity, which beyond anything I find hard to mantain with ease.

The farewell made me realize just how much I will miss them. Before this I always thought of them as my sisters' friends. Now I realize that they have been my friends too for the past four years. Maybe not very close friends, not as much a part of my life as my regular group, but nevertheless, still my friends. I'll miss you guys. :(

Saw The Lake House over the weekend. It was a bit confusing to wrap my mind around the whole time glitch technicality thing at first. But I liked the movie. Yes, I did. Like most romantic movies, I loved this one too. Maybe I am too much of a sentimental fool to like all this romanic junk but kiya karein. They fill me with hope. And that's all I need most of the time. So yeah Lake House goes on my I Like list.

I feel good...

One of the nicest compliments I've ever gotten...

"I like your smile. You smile with all your heart. It says look at me, I'm happy within."