This one's for you Aisha: Bo Bice (runner up in American Idol 2005) the most adorable guy ever.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Happy New Year ppl!!!
I saw this Meme over at Aisha's and since there was an open invitation and I had loadsa free time, i did it too... :D
1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Went to islamabad and stayed with my best friend for the weekend.
Yep, im 21 and this is the first time in my life ive stayed over at a friend's place, with no family around. What can I say, my parents arent really all that into the Independence for girls club.(my dad was in the isloo too for a meeting staying in a hotel...does that count???)
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I wanted to lose a lot of weight (ha ha, who doesnt!)… I only lost a little weight (not enough to satisfy me)
I wanted to exercise lots… I didnt get around to having a proper exercise routine.
I wanted to work really hard at studies again… I was too lazy a bum to study as hard as I had planned.
Yep! I will definitely make some for next year, im really good at procrastinating.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My uncle had a baby daughter. I cant remember anyone else.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, Shukar Alhamdulilah. No one did. I still have nightmares about 2003 when both my grand dads died within two months of each other.
5. What countries did you visit?
None!! (Afsos)
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A little more determination and discipline to carry my plans through.
7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I dont signify dates that much
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passing second year, getting into third year and hopefully passing this year too…
9. What was your biggest failure?
Hm… I dont really keep my sight on that area.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing that I havent had before.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Lap top!!!
Ipod!
Some kick-ass shoes! (Haye how i love shoes)
Lovely lush clothes!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine! :D I tried being a good person (God knows how damn hard it was ha ha)…
seriously though my sisters and friends for putting up with me and my awful mood swings as patiently as they do.
And Memphis for being my personal driver whenever i needed him, with no complaints or the usual guy-bullshit.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A really close friend's.
14.Where did most of your money go?
Jazz cards!
I pod!
Gifts for people! (I am not complaining, mind you!)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Islamabad.
Getting my laptop.
Getting my I pod.
My sister's wedding (lol, dont ask… she isnt engaged yet and there are no signs of that happening for the next 1.5 or 2 yrs… but you can get excited about stuff like this cant you :D)
16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Hm… Kajra rey… L dancing in the common room to it.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Neither I guess
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner
c) richer or poorer? Tab bhi kangaal they, ab bhi kangaal hain (ill answer this when I start earning… lol, collected pocket money doesnt account for richer or poorer)
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercising and studying
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Same as Aisha: telling myself I'll get to it tomorrow.
Depending on other people for my happiness.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Already spent it watching movies at home.
21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Nope. (Does Bo Bice or Zain count?)
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Lahaasil and Terey janey key baad.
Gilmore Girls.
Lost.
Desperate Housewives.
American idol.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.
25. What was the best book you read?
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Aabida parveen!
27. What did you want and get?
A laptop!
28. What did you want and not get?
A sony cyber-shot (yep, im that materialistic)
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Pillow talk.
The Hours.
Wicker Park.
(they are old movies, I saw them this yr)
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21!
Bunked uni and spent the day at home… lol, that is a luxury, trust me.
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had actually stuck to my resolutions… (Dayam!)
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Lol, no concept whatsoever. I just went along with what my tailor told me.
33. What kept you sane?
TV. It kept my mind off a lotta things I would've gone crazy thinking about.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Bo Bice!!!!!
35. Who did you miss?
B.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Abid… my best friend’s friend. Really nice guy.
Naz and safo, Mo and Memphis. I met them before but got to **really** know them this year.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
Do not trust people too much with your happiness! Wait thats an old life lesson. Nothin new.
38. What political issue irked you the most?
Huh??? (I don’t know anything about politics or the people involved). No comments
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
On a different day
If I was safe in my own skin
Then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened
But this is today
And I'm lost in my own skin
And I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel
Safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again.
- Dido
1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Went to islamabad and stayed with my best friend for the weekend.
Yep, im 21 and this is the first time in my life ive stayed over at a friend's place, with no family around. What can I say, my parents arent really all that into the Independence for girls club.(my dad was in the isloo too for a meeting staying in a hotel...does that count???)
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I wanted to lose a lot of weight (ha ha, who doesnt!)… I only lost a little weight (not enough to satisfy me)
I wanted to exercise lots… I didnt get around to having a proper exercise routine.
I wanted to work really hard at studies again… I was too lazy a bum to study as hard as I had planned.
Yep! I will definitely make some for next year, im really good at procrastinating.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My uncle had a baby daughter. I cant remember anyone else.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, Shukar Alhamdulilah. No one did. I still have nightmares about 2003 when both my grand dads died within two months of each other.
5. What countries did you visit?
None!! (Afsos)
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A little more determination and discipline to carry my plans through.
7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I dont signify dates that much
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passing second year, getting into third year and hopefully passing this year too…
9. What was your biggest failure?
Hm… I dont really keep my sight on that area.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing that I havent had before.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Lap top!!!
Ipod!
Some kick-ass shoes! (Haye how i love shoes)
Lovely lush clothes!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine! :D I tried being a good person (God knows how damn hard it was ha ha)…
seriously though my sisters and friends for putting up with me and my awful mood swings as patiently as they do.
And Memphis for being my personal driver whenever i needed him, with no complaints or the usual guy-bullshit.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A really close friend's.
14.Where did most of your money go?
Jazz cards!
I pod!
Gifts for people! (I am not complaining, mind you!)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Islamabad.
Getting my laptop.
Getting my I pod.
My sister's wedding (lol, dont ask… she isnt engaged yet and there are no signs of that happening for the next 1.5 or 2 yrs… but you can get excited about stuff like this cant you :D)
16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Hm… Kajra rey… L dancing in the common room to it.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Neither I guess
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner
c) richer or poorer? Tab bhi kangaal they, ab bhi kangaal hain (ill answer this when I start earning… lol, collected pocket money doesnt account for richer or poorer)
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercising and studying
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Same as Aisha: telling myself I'll get to it tomorrow.
Depending on other people for my happiness.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Already spent it watching movies at home.
21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Nope. (Does Bo Bice or Zain count?)
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Lahaasil and Terey janey key baad.
Gilmore Girls.
Lost.
Desperate Housewives.
American idol.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.
25. What was the best book you read?
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Aabida parveen!
27. What did you want and get?
A laptop!
28. What did you want and not get?
A sony cyber-shot (yep, im that materialistic)
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Pillow talk.
The Hours.
Wicker Park.
(they are old movies, I saw them this yr)
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21!
Bunked uni and spent the day at home… lol, that is a luxury, trust me.
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had actually stuck to my resolutions… (Dayam!)
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Lol, no concept whatsoever. I just went along with what my tailor told me.
33. What kept you sane?
TV. It kept my mind off a lotta things I would've gone crazy thinking about.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Bo Bice!!!!!
35. Who did you miss?
B.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Abid… my best friend’s friend. Really nice guy.
Naz and safo, Mo and Memphis. I met them before but got to **really** know them this year.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
Do not trust people too much with your happiness! Wait thats an old life lesson. Nothin new.
38. What political issue irked you the most?
Huh??? (I don’t know anything about politics or the people involved). No comments
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
On a different day
If I was safe in my own skin
Then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened
But this is today
And I'm lost in my own skin
And I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel
Safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again.
- Dido
I tag everyone!!! anyone who feels like doing it! Tell me if u do. id like to read.
Happpyyyyyyyyyy New Year! To new beginings. :D
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Sometimes I guess there just arent enough rocks
Bless the human mind for remembering. Bless it more for being able to forget, wiping some events off the memory slates, as if they had never happened. Then all that is left are slight traces and recollections of an afternoon sun ready to settle outside the window and a dark room beyond it. All that is left then to haunt you for the rest of your life is the dark room and its demons. But bless the mind of this 8 year old who hasnt been able to remember anymore ever since.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Sisters are a strange breed...
I hate people leaving.
I hate being left alone.
I hate realizing that it affects me way more than I want it to.
I hate everyone expecting me to get over it and to just deal with it.
I hate not being able to get over it and to just deal with it (believe me, I want to!)
I hate being weak.
I hate realizing I am not that strong after all.
I hate depending on others for happiness.
I hate not enjoying TV cuz no one is there to watch it with me.
I hate Mc-Dz tasting like rubbish when im all alone in an empty lounge, eating it.
I hate everyone asking me, how you holding up girl.
I hate finding something funny and not having anyone around to share it with.
I hate leaving coffee mugs everywhere with no one around to tell me to pick up after myself.
I hate having no furry ball of a cat sleeping on my books, in my bag, in my bed and leaving cat
hair behind.
I hate never realizing in these last three years that you must have felt this way too every
summer (im sorry… :( )
I hate missing people I spend 16 hours of every single day with.
I hate missing two of the most important people in my life.
I hate missing you two cuz that just means you arent here where I am.
Love you two so so sooooo much! You guys mean the world to me!
Friday, November 25, 2005
Saying goodbye...
There is a certain amount of sadness and a certain degree of desolation in knowing that now when you'll dial a particular number, you'll hear an automated voice telling you that the number you've dialed is no longer in use, instead of hearing the familiar voice u have become so used to.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Sum...
Agreeing to come to uni just cuz I was coming as well
Standing with me on a roadside for half an hour, waiting for a bus
Helping me get on my first local bus (not a very pleasant experience)
Deciding whether the smell was coming from inside the bus or outside
Telling me to cover my head and face the way you did (as if we were about to bomb some place)
Not taking a 3rd bus cuz I was too tired, and taking a rickshaw instead
Apologizing when the rickshaw driver drove like a maniac and when the rickshaw made a lot of
noise (as if any of that was your fault)
Giving “dehydrated” me lots of water to drink and your space on the bed to veg out
Sometime that's “all” it takes for me to be glad you are my friend...
Standing with me on a roadside for half an hour, waiting for a bus
Helping me get on my first local bus (not a very pleasant experience)
Deciding whether the smell was coming from inside the bus or outside
Telling me to cover my head and face the way you did (as if we were about to bomb some place)
Not taking a 3rd bus cuz I was too tired, and taking a rickshaw instead
Apologizing when the rickshaw driver drove like a maniac and when the rickshaw made a lot of
noise (as if any of that was your fault)
Giving “dehydrated” me lots of water to drink and your space on the bed to veg out
Sometime that's “all” it takes for me to be glad you are my friend...
Monday, November 07, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
You are the reason I am. You are all my reasons. - A beautiful mind
As a newly married couple when you say this to each other, I dont think its amazing. The first few months after you get married are supposed to be the best, right. Everything is new and shiny, life sunny and beautiful, him/her wonderful and bewitching. So obviously you'll be feeling it and declaring your new-found love to each other as often as you can.
I dont think it classifies as extraordinary when you say this to the person you've been married to for the last 60 or so years. At that age, when you look back, you'll be able to forgive a lot that happened, look past a lot that happened, and love him/her for a whole lot that happened. At that age, he/she will be what your life is about after the kids have moved out, gotten married and forgotten to call on your birthday, when in the real sense, your life starts revolving around this one person (cuz frankly no one else is there). Naturally you will feel all the love there is for this one person you've spent your life with.
When you have spent long 25-30 years with the same person and you're still in for another 30 years or so, when you've gone through or are going through all the mid-life crises that are there, when dropping estrogen levels is just one reason for the raging tempers and irritability, when every female other than your own wife may hold more appeal, when you might regret the decision of marrying the person you did marry, when you might not be able to recognize them anymore, when you might wonder where he/she has disappeared, when careers become frustrating, when despite that work place seems a get-away from the daily drudgery of family life, when you look around the dinner table and secretly wonder sometimes what would life have been like had you made some different choices, when nothing is going the way you had planned it thirty years ago, when you couldn't care less about anything happening around you…
When all that is happening and you can still wake up in the morning, look at the person sleeping next to you, and say, “You are the reason I am, you are all my reasons” and really mean it… I think that is when it becomes truly remarkable.
As a newly married couple when you say this to each other, I dont think its amazing. The first few months after you get married are supposed to be the best, right. Everything is new and shiny, life sunny and beautiful, him/her wonderful and bewitching. So obviously you'll be feeling it and declaring your new-found love to each other as often as you can.
I dont think it classifies as extraordinary when you say this to the person you've been married to for the last 60 or so years. At that age, when you look back, you'll be able to forgive a lot that happened, look past a lot that happened, and love him/her for a whole lot that happened. At that age, he/she will be what your life is about after the kids have moved out, gotten married and forgotten to call on your birthday, when in the real sense, your life starts revolving around this one person (cuz frankly no one else is there). Naturally you will feel all the love there is for this one person you've spent your life with.
When you have spent long 25-30 years with the same person and you're still in for another 30 years or so, when you've gone through or are going through all the mid-life crises that are there, when dropping estrogen levels is just one reason for the raging tempers and irritability, when every female other than your own wife may hold more appeal, when you might regret the decision of marrying the person you did marry, when you might not be able to recognize them anymore, when you might wonder where he/she has disappeared, when careers become frustrating, when despite that work place seems a get-away from the daily drudgery of family life, when you look around the dinner table and secretly wonder sometimes what would life have been like had you made some different choices, when nothing is going the way you had planned it thirty years ago, when you couldn't care less about anything happening around you…
When all that is happening and you can still wake up in the morning, look at the person sleeping next to you, and say, “You are the reason I am, you are all my reasons” and really mean it… I think that is when it becomes truly remarkable.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Blog quake day
18 days have passed since the massive earth quake hit Southeast Asia. 18 days have passed since almost 79,000 people died and a few million became homeless. 18 days have passed since a whole nation was torn by grief. However, no amount of time that passes will erase the effects of this catastrophe from these people's lives. Families ripped apart, children orphaned, sisters with no fathers, brothers or husbands to give them shelter… our people need us.
Please step up to help them. Your aid might not reconstruct the several cities destroyed, but if it even gives one child shelter from the cold through the winter through these coming months, it will be worthwhile.
Some useful websites for making donations are:
UNICEF
Oxfam
International Red Cross
Hidaya Foundation
UK Based CharitiesInternational aid agenciesMensa Pakistan Disaster Relief FundSA Tribune: Sending donations if you live abroadLahore University of Management Sciences' Charity Drive
Donations can be deposited in any branch of UBL in Pakistan giving following details.
Account Title MKRF - Pakistan Earthquake Relief Fund
Bank Name: United Bank Limited
Account No. 0102598-5
Branch Code 1234
Branch Name Al-Rehman Branch
Branch Address I. I. Chundrigar Road, Karachi , Pakistan
For international telegraphic transfer from any bank abroad also indicate
Swift Code U N I L P K KA
Contact information for Edhi foundation:
Karachi - 021-2201261
Lahore - 042 - 5414211
Islamabad - 051 - 2827844
Multan - 061 - 4583906 / 4549938
Quetta - 081 - 2830832 / 2830861
By check:
Edhi Foundation of Pakistan:
USA Edhi International Foundation
42-07 National street
Corona, New York, 11368
Tel: (718)(639-5120)Fax:(718)(335-1978)
And if you cant help in any other way, simply click your mouse & help a Pakistani child through
The Child Site, and Click for Charity. Bookmark these pages & click to support as often as you can.
Today, as Allah tests those earthquake victims in this hardship, He also tests us, the luckier lot, who are sitting comfortably in the warmth of our homes, the only connection with the earthquake being through TV images.
As sure as the Day of Judgment is, we will all stand before Him as He will ask us, “what did you do when I was hungry in the form of that child, when I was cold in the form of that woman, when I was suffering in the form of that man? Why didn't you come ahead to help Me with all that I have blessed you with?”
Please… please make a difference while you still can.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
What we do today will count. Our choices will count. If we decide to watch the news, look at the people who have died or suffered, and remain unaffected, that will count. If we decide to open our pockets and our bank accounts for these people, that will count. If we open our hearts to these people, that desicion will also count. Not for anybody else. But between us and Allah, these desicions will count.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Please Help!
Even blogging isnt taking my mind off this whole earthquake thing. We've started collecting money in our university for the relief fund. Lets hope we can help in some way.
Ami always says that in Allah's 99 names, He has 98 names that depict beauty and mercy while there is only one name that says Al-Jabbar. And still Allah is Arrehman Arraheem, His love and mercy are no doubt greater than His anger. I pray for the maghfirat of the people who died. I pray that Allah makes it easy for the victims to get through this ordeal. I pray for our nation to have the strength to overcome this catastrophe. I pray.
I found some extremely useful info on Saba's blog:
Donate to Pakistan's Earthquake Relief Fund:
All Mobilink users: contribute Rs. 10 +tax to the Mobilink Earthquake Relief Fund by sending a blank SMS to 180.
Donations can be deposited in any branch of UBL in Pakistan giving following details.
Account Title MKRF - Pakistan Earthquake Relief Fund
Bank Name: United Bank Limited
Account No. 0102598-5
Branch Code 1234
Branch Name Al-Rehman Branch
Branch Address I. I. Chundrigar Road, Karachi , Pakistan
For international telegraphic transfer from any bank abroad also indicate
Swift Code U N I L P K KA
To contribute via PayPal - click here: Help Pakistan
Contact the following organizations:
Edhi Foundation
Karachi - 021-2201261
Lahore - 042 - 5414211
Islamabad - 051 - 2827844
Multan - 061 - 4583906 / 4549938
Quetta - 081 - 2830832 / 2830861
Fatamid Foundation
Dr. Sagher - 021-2225285 / 0300 - 9210647
Ansar Burney Welfare Trust
Sarim Burney - 0300 - 8243459 / 0301 - 8243459
Rotaract Club 3270
Lahore:
Natash Ali Mian - 0300 - 9464209
Farooq Abdul Qadir - 0333 - 4227114
Karachi:
Ali Hafeez - 0333 - 2298048
National Academy of Youth Trust
Mrs. Samina - 0333 - 3114726
Khidmat - e - Khalq Foundation
Karachi - 021 - 6328464
Al Khidmat Foundation
Lahore - 042 - 5433038
Islamabad - 051 - 2277343 / 2877933
Some useful websites are:
Unicef
International Red Cross
UK Based Charities
International aid agencies
Mensa Pakistan Disaster Relief Fund
SA Tribune: Sending donations if you live abroad
Lahore University of Management Sciences' Charity Drive
The Karachi Metblog and Lahore Metblog are posting news updates and details of charity drives constantly.
(My views are not to offend anyone, they are just that, my faith. My views. )
Ami always says that in Allah's 99 names, He has 98 names that depict beauty and mercy while there is only one name that says Al-Jabbar. And still Allah is Arrehman Arraheem, His love and mercy are no doubt greater than His anger. I pray for the maghfirat of the people who died. I pray that Allah makes it easy for the victims to get through this ordeal. I pray for our nation to have the strength to overcome this catastrophe. I pray.
I found some extremely useful info on Saba's blog:
Donate to Pakistan's Earthquake Relief Fund:
All Mobilink users: contribute Rs. 10 +tax to the Mobilink Earthquake Relief Fund by sending a blank SMS to 180.
Donations can be deposited in any branch of UBL in Pakistan giving following details.
Account Title MKRF - Pakistan Earthquake Relief Fund
Bank Name: United Bank Limited
Account No. 0102598-5
Branch Code 1234
Branch Name Al-Rehman Branch
Branch Address I. I. Chundrigar Road, Karachi , Pakistan
For international telegraphic transfer from any bank abroad also indicate
Swift Code U N I L P K KA
To contribute via PayPal - click here: Help Pakistan
Contact the following organizations:
Edhi Foundation
Karachi - 021-2201261
Lahore - 042 - 5414211
Islamabad - 051 - 2827844
Multan - 061 - 4583906 / 4549938
Quetta - 081 - 2830832 / 2830861
Fatamid Foundation
Dr. Sagher - 021-2225285 / 0300 - 9210647
Ansar Burney Welfare Trust
Sarim Burney - 0300 - 8243459 / 0301 - 8243459
Rotaract Club 3270
Lahore:
Natash Ali Mian - 0300 - 9464209
Farooq Abdul Qadir - 0333 - 4227114
Karachi:
Ali Hafeez - 0333 - 2298048
National Academy of Youth Trust
Mrs. Samina - 0333 - 3114726
Khidmat - e - Khalq Foundation
Karachi - 021 - 6328464
Al Khidmat Foundation
Lahore - 042 - 5433038
Islamabad - 051 - 2277343 / 2877933
Some useful websites are:
Unicef
International Red Cross
UK Based Charities
International aid agencies
Mensa Pakistan Disaster Relief Fund
SA Tribune: Sending donations if you live abroad
Lahore University of Management Sciences' Charity Drive
The Karachi Metblog and Lahore Metblog are posting news updates and details of charity drives constantly.
From Baraka's blog:
Online donations:
By check:
Edhi Foundation of Pakistan:
USA Edhi International Foundation
42-07 National street
Corona, New York, 11368
Tel: (718)(639-5120)Fax:(718)(335-1978)
Pakistan Embassy in Washington DC:
Please make checks payable to the 'President’s Relief Fund' and mail to:
Embassy of Pakistan,
3517 International Court,
NW, Washington, DC 20008
From BBCD's blog:
Already on the Ground: Oxfam - Accept Online Donations
Islamic Relief - Accept Online Donations
Muslim Hands - Accept Online Donations
Unicef - Accept Online Donations.
Edhi Foundation - Post Cheques onlys
---President's relief Fund, just deposit your donations in any National Bank branch all over Pakistan. For further information, call the Prime Minister's Relief Cell at 051-9213891 or 051-9222999---
You can also send in donations through Mir Khalil Ur Rehman Foundation (http://www.mkrf.org). It’s the charity organization of largest News Paper Group in Pakistan (Jang Group: http://www.jang.com.pk)
Donations can be deposited in any branch of UBL in Pakistan giving following details.
Account Title MKRF - Pakistan Earthquake Relief Fund
Bank Name United Bank Limited
Account No. 0102598-5
Branch Code 1234
Branch Name Al-Rehman Branch
Branch Address I. I. Chundrigar Road, Karachi , Pakistan
For international telegraphic transfer from any bank abroad also indicate
Swift Code U N I L P K KA
***Thanks to Saba, Baraka and BBCD. If i find out some other info, ill post that too. Please help in any way you can.
(My views are not to offend anyone, they are just that, my faith. My views. )
Sunday, October 09, 2005
A 7.6 magnitude earth quake hit Pakistan, India and Afghanistan this morning at 8:52 am. The death toll is almost 3,000 now, with even more casualties. Authorities fear that the number may be more than this. The greatest loss of lives has been in Kashmir, almost 1,600. 200+ men of our army have also died. There are 400 students being feared dead. There is an apartment building Margalla towers in Islamabad that has fallen down and people are stuck underneath the debris, some dead, some still alive.
As people stagger, trying to cope with the losses of their loved ones or their assets, I pray that Allah gives them strength to overcome this catastrophe and come out of it with stronger faith. The people who died, I pray that Allah unki maghfirat farmaye aur unkey liye agey ka har marhala asaan karey. For the people who are trying to help others in any way they can, small or big, may Allah reward them for this beyond their expectations. I pray that Allah shows us mercy and keep all of us in His refuge from any such further calamities.
I remember reading somewhere in Quran about how Allah's azaab/punishment comes unannounced, comes while we are sleeping or busy with our wordly lives. Sometimes it takes more than a slight nudge to wake up. It takes a tsunami, a flood, an earthquake, a hurricane to wake up. To wake up and realize the finity of this world. To wake up and remember why we were sent here in the first place.
Say, 'He has power to send punishment upon you from above you or from beneath your feet, or to confound you by splitting you into sects and make you taste the violence of one another. See how We expound the various ways that they may understand!" Chapter 6: Verse 65
As people stagger, trying to cope with the losses of their loved ones or their assets, I pray that Allah gives them strength to overcome this catastrophe and come out of it with stronger faith. The people who died, I pray that Allah unki maghfirat farmaye aur unkey liye agey ka har marhala asaan karey. For the people who are trying to help others in any way they can, small or big, may Allah reward them for this beyond their expectations. I pray that Allah shows us mercy and keep all of us in His refuge from any such further calamities.
I remember reading somewhere in Quran about how Allah's azaab/punishment comes unannounced, comes while we are sleeping or busy with our wordly lives. Sometimes it takes more than a slight nudge to wake up. It takes a tsunami, a flood, an earthquake, a hurricane to wake up. To wake up and realize the finity of this world. To wake up and remember why we were sent here in the first place.
Say, 'He has power to send punishment upon you from above you or from beneath your feet, or to confound you by splitting you into sects and make you taste the violence of one another. See how We expound the various ways that they may understand!" Chapter 6: Verse 65
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
(Listening to: Yunhii challa chal rahii at the mo)
R : So are you engaged yet???
Me: Huh?
R: Arent u engaged yet?
Me: R again…. huh???!!!!
R: I was asking cuz ure a pathan and all na… so I thought maybe u wudve gotten engaged by now. So have u gotten engaged???
Me: Oh so thats what you are talking about. Well yes :D, I did get engaged!!! Oh I also got married and have 4 adorable kids…
(Not true... in case you guys were wondering)
Lol… why does that happen??? People assuming that you are engaged just cuz you belong to a specific sect / cast… Ok so I know pathans do marry their girls off early… but seriously… Do you know my dad… im not kidding… do you???!!!!
He is such an adorable baba jaan… but us three sistas and amii have come to a conclusion… he is in denial… us getting married does not come anywhere in his future plans (not that im complaining… lol, loving my freedom, yes I am!!). He is trying very hard to ignore the fact that he has 3 girls that he might have to marry off some day… lol, one day when amii said something to him abt buying gold and stuff for us, he got very very upset, muttered something under his breath and left the room.
Amii, on the other hand, is a totally different story. Last night she told me she has been attending one wedding every week since three months. How she is managing that with her clinic and all is beyond me. Honey has a pretty good theory about that. She thinks amii is trying to make up for all those weddings that she dint go to all these years and is trying to keep her ends neat with people so they will come to our weddings too. According to Amii, she is just evolving into a Social species. After 50 yrs of being a home bug, yeah sure mum, you have me convinced…
R : So are you engaged yet???
Me: Huh?
R: Arent u engaged yet?
Me: R again…. huh???!!!!
R: I was asking cuz ure a pathan and all na… so I thought maybe u wudve gotten engaged by now. So have u gotten engaged???
Me: Oh so thats what you are talking about. Well yes :D, I did get engaged!!! Oh I also got married and have 4 adorable kids…
(Not true... in case you guys were wondering)
Lol… why does that happen??? People assuming that you are engaged just cuz you belong to a specific sect / cast… Ok so I know pathans do marry their girls off early… but seriously… Do you know my dad… im not kidding… do you???!!!!
He is such an adorable baba jaan… but us three sistas and amii have come to a conclusion… he is in denial… us getting married does not come anywhere in his future plans (not that im complaining… lol, loving my freedom, yes I am!!). He is trying very hard to ignore the fact that he has 3 girls that he might have to marry off some day… lol, one day when amii said something to him abt buying gold and stuff for us, he got very very upset, muttered something under his breath and left the room.
Amii, on the other hand, is a totally different story. Last night she told me she has been attending one wedding every week since three months. How she is managing that with her clinic and all is beyond me. Honey has a pretty good theory about that. She thinks amii is trying to make up for all those weddings that she dint go to all these years and is trying to keep her ends neat with people so they will come to our weddings too. According to Amii, she is just evolving into a Social species. After 50 yrs of being a home bug, yeah sure mum, you have me convinced…
Honey putting things into perspective:
“So why do they call Tuna the chicken of the sea? Tuna isn’t chicken, its fish”
“Twenty six twenty fivvvvvvvvvvveeeeee…” (inspired by the Gold Member movie)
“So all she did in the whole movie with her psycho husband is learn how to swim?”
“Tell amii to give instructions to her faithful army as well” (referring to Ami’s servants)
“Kisi din to uski dardhi sey mey latak jaoongi” (angry at Master Ilyas and at Dr. Niaz)
“Twenty six twenty fivvvvvvvvvvveeeeee…” (inspired by the Gold Member movie)
“So all she did in the whole movie with her psycho husband is learn how to swim?”
“Tell amii to give instructions to her faithful army as well” (referring to Ami’s servants)
“Kisi din to uski dardhi sey mey latak jaoongi” (angry at Master Ilyas and at Dr. Niaz)
Monday, October 03, 2005
Ajnabii shehr key ajnabii rastey
I couldnt find this piece in Urdu script so tried doing my best with Roman English. Hope its understandable.
Ajnabii shehr key ajnabii rastey
Meri tanhayii par muskaratey rahey
Mey bohat dair tak yunhii chalta raha
Tum bohat dair tak yaad atey rahey
Zehr milta raha, zehr peetey rahey
Roz martey rahey, roz jeetey rahey
Zindagii bi humey azmatii rahi
Aur hum bhi isey aazmate rahey
Zakhm jab bhi koi zehn o dil par laga
Zindagii ki taraf ek dareecha khula
Hum bhi goya kisi saaz key taar hain
Chot khatey rahey, gungunatey rahey
Kal kuch aisa hua, mey bohat thakh gaya
Is liye sun kar bhi un suni kar gaya
Kitni yadon key bhatkey huey karawaan
Dil key zakhmo key dar khat khtaatey rahey
Ajnabii shehr key ajnabii rastey
Meri tanhayii par muskaratey rahey
Mey bohat dair tak yunhii chalta raha
Tum bohat dair tak yaad atey rahey
All things bright and happy....
It takes a lot to standup to someone. It takes even more when that someone is yourself. I think it takes everything in you to face the demons that inhabit the dark recesses of your mind and soul. To say enough. I wont have anymore of this. Im tired and Im sick of you telling me what to do and how to feel. I wont. Ive had enough.
To Faith: Saw a brilliant side of you today... after months of the despair you went through, i loved the way you emerged from it. Here's to conquering your past and your demons and to letting go.
On a brighter and happier note, one of my closest friends got married today, or is in the middle of the process of getting married right now. The depressing thing being i couldnt go back to my hometown where the ceremony is being held, cuz of stupid exams and tests (who told me to get into medicine in the first place :O see how i am paying) But hopefully her wedding will be a lovely ceremony. I hope my cynicism as regards to relationships doesnt rub off on her. I hope the man she is marrying turns out to be worth all her love and worthy of being with the wonderful person that she is. I hope they live happily ever after and have adorable children and grand children and a wonderfully wonderful life together.... :D
Happy Married Life, both of You!!!!
(God i hate not being there :( ... )
To Faith: Saw a brilliant side of you today... after months of the despair you went through, i loved the way you emerged from it. Here's to conquering your past and your demons and to letting go.
On a brighter and happier note, one of my closest friends got married today, or is in the middle of the process of getting married right now. The depressing thing being i couldnt go back to my hometown where the ceremony is being held, cuz of stupid exams and tests (who told me to get into medicine in the first place :O see how i am paying) But hopefully her wedding will be a lovely ceremony. I hope my cynicism as regards to relationships doesnt rub off on her. I hope the man she is marrying turns out to be worth all her love and worthy of being with the wonderful person that she is. I hope they live happily ever after and have adorable children and grand children and a wonderfully wonderful life together.... :D
Happy Married Life, both of You!!!!
(God i hate not being there :( ... )
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Peter Pan turned 21!
Dad thinks Im Peter Pan. He doesnt accept the fact that Im growing up. Every year he asks me on my birthday, how old did my princess turn today… 18?? Every year I correct him and every year he refuses to believe me.
So I tried very hard yet again, two days ago, to convince my dad I had turned 21. No luck. He still thinks Im 18.
**Sigh** I’ll just take it positively and be flattered…
I remember being thirteen. I was in 8th grade. I couldnt wait to grow up. I had so many dreams, so much ambition, so much to do in life. Be all that I wanted to be. 8 years down the line, I see myself a somewhat different person. I wish I could go back to 3rd grade where my friends took my brand new oil pastels to make me birthday cards. I wish I could go back to 6th grade where my best friend gave me her own Barbie on my birthday cuz I had liked the doll so much. I wish I could go back to 8th grade where I was oh-so-damn-lucky according to all the other girls cuz one of the most popular guys in school liked me. I wish I could go back to 9th grade where we were the coolest group of girls in class cuz we played basketball better than the guys. I wish I could go back to 10th grade where being someone's best friend meant being loyal like a dog to them cuz we didnt know any other way to be. I wish I could go back to my A-levels where fun and laughter revealed its true glory.
8 years down the line, I think I'd like to go back. Find myself again. Find all that I lost. My trust and faith in people. Cuz growing up meant having many definitions redefined. Finding out that beauty is really skin-deep and that no one will look beyond your appearance to find out who you really are. That when people say trust me you shouldnt really take their word for it, you should always leave room for doubt. Finding out that what people say and what people mean are two very different things. That friends will talk about you behind your back, be very spiteful and mean and then expect a sorry to smooth things over. That the people you trust the most are actually the people that will break that trust. Finding out that how far you would go for a friend and how far they would go for you are again two very different things. That even after you give everything you have loved to somebody else, you'll still remain misunderstood.
But all is not dark and dreary. Birthdays are a good reminder of all that really matters in life.
Ami who’s birthday call was late cuz she had been praying for me earlier.
Sisters who get me a birthday cake of my choice even if they make me cut it at 11:20 pm instead of at midnight. Sisters who whine about the stupidity of what I ask for as a birthday gift but still get it for me. Sisters who complain that they are low on cash and bloody tired but still take me out for lunch. Sisters who make being away from my parents a lot easier on me.
Friends who get me a surprise birthday cake even if they arent really good at being sneaky. Friends who remember the shoes I had liked in a shop two months ago and give it to me on my birthday. Friends who start calling and smsing me from three days beforehand, reminding me about my upcoming birthday (as if i could forget :P).
People who dont really know me all that well but still sms to say happy birthday at 12. People who I think wouldve forgotten about me by now, smsing at 12 . People I cant even imagine wishing me calling me up at 12.
Yesterday one of my friends asked me, how does it feel growing up.
Somehow I feel a bit wiser. I learnt birthdays arent really about cakes, and the candles and the parties and the gifts. All these people who care enough to remember my birthday, and the health and happiness Allah has blessed me with… that is what birthdays are really about.
Happy Turning 21!!
So I tried very hard yet again, two days ago, to convince my dad I had turned 21. No luck. He still thinks Im 18.
**Sigh** I’ll just take it positively and be flattered…
I remember being thirteen. I was in 8th grade. I couldnt wait to grow up. I had so many dreams, so much ambition, so much to do in life. Be all that I wanted to be. 8 years down the line, I see myself a somewhat different person. I wish I could go back to 3rd grade where my friends took my brand new oil pastels to make me birthday cards. I wish I could go back to 6th grade where my best friend gave me her own Barbie on my birthday cuz I had liked the doll so much. I wish I could go back to 8th grade where I was oh-so-damn-lucky according to all the other girls cuz one of the most popular guys in school liked me. I wish I could go back to 9th grade where we were the coolest group of girls in class cuz we played basketball better than the guys. I wish I could go back to 10th grade where being someone's best friend meant being loyal like a dog to them cuz we didnt know any other way to be. I wish I could go back to my A-levels where fun and laughter revealed its true glory.
8 years down the line, I think I'd like to go back. Find myself again. Find all that I lost. My trust and faith in people. Cuz growing up meant having many definitions redefined. Finding out that beauty is really skin-deep and that no one will look beyond your appearance to find out who you really are. That when people say trust me you shouldnt really take their word for it, you should always leave room for doubt. Finding out that what people say and what people mean are two very different things. That friends will talk about you behind your back, be very spiteful and mean and then expect a sorry to smooth things over. That the people you trust the most are actually the people that will break that trust. Finding out that how far you would go for a friend and how far they would go for you are again two very different things. That even after you give everything you have loved to somebody else, you'll still remain misunderstood.
But all is not dark and dreary. Birthdays are a good reminder of all that really matters in life.
Ami who’s birthday call was late cuz she had been praying for me earlier.
Sisters who get me a birthday cake of my choice even if they make me cut it at 11:20 pm instead of at midnight. Sisters who whine about the stupidity of what I ask for as a birthday gift but still get it for me. Sisters who complain that they are low on cash and bloody tired but still take me out for lunch. Sisters who make being away from my parents a lot easier on me.
Friends who get me a surprise birthday cake even if they arent really good at being sneaky. Friends who remember the shoes I had liked in a shop two months ago and give it to me on my birthday. Friends who start calling and smsing me from three days beforehand, reminding me about my upcoming birthday (as if i could forget :P).
People who dont really know me all that well but still sms to say happy birthday at 12. People who I think wouldve forgotten about me by now, smsing at 12 . People I cant even imagine wishing me calling me up at 12.
Yesterday one of my friends asked me, how does it feel growing up.
Somehow I feel a bit wiser. I learnt birthdays arent really about cakes, and the candles and the parties and the gifts. All these people who care enough to remember my birthday, and the health and happiness Allah has blessed me with… that is what birthdays are really about.
Happy Turning 21!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Mummy ki khushboo
I remember small things... instances... from the time I was growing up. Before our house underwent extensive reconstruction, the door mostly used for entering and leaving was the one in the gallery instead of the one in the kitchen.
The gallery was (is) this long hallway, a good 20-30 feet ( I think... Im bad with estimates), lit by a number of small dome lights that filled the place with a warm orange glow. There, at the end of this hallway, was a big aquarium with different fish, most of them gold fishes, maybe because that's what was most easily available in quetta.
What I remember most vividly about this gallery was when mum would use this door to leave for work. I remember her dressing up, the good bye hugs n kisses we would get, the click-clackin of her heels, her disappearing form and her perfume in the hallway.
I remember lingering in the gallery for the longest of times after she would leave, standing in front of the aquarium, watching the fish swim. Amii used to wear Chanel No.5 and you could still smell it there for hours after she would leave. To us, as kids, the name of the perfume never held any significance. That smell was simply mummy ki khushboo.
Today, as I dressed for uni, I opened my cupboard and there it was, a whole bottle full of mummy ki khushboo. I sprayed on a little so the smell would linger around me for the rest of the day, reminding me of her, tricking my mind somehow into thinking that she was around there somewhere nearby.
I dunno. Maybe Im just missing amii a lot...
The gallery was (is) this long hallway, a good 20-30 feet ( I think... Im bad with estimates), lit by a number of small dome lights that filled the place with a warm orange glow. There, at the end of this hallway, was a big aquarium with different fish, most of them gold fishes, maybe because that's what was most easily available in quetta.
What I remember most vividly about this gallery was when mum would use this door to leave for work. I remember her dressing up, the good bye hugs n kisses we would get, the click-clackin of her heels, her disappearing form and her perfume in the hallway.
I remember lingering in the gallery for the longest of times after she would leave, standing in front of the aquarium, watching the fish swim. Amii used to wear Chanel No.5 and you could still smell it there for hours after she would leave. To us, as kids, the name of the perfume never held any significance. That smell was simply mummy ki khushboo.
Today, as I dressed for uni, I opened my cupboard and there it was, a whole bottle full of mummy ki khushboo. I sprayed on a little so the smell would linger around me for the rest of the day, reminding me of her, tricking my mind somehow into thinking that she was around there somewhere nearby.
I dunno. Maybe Im just missing amii a lot...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Ha ha! Why am I not surprised...
| You Are 60% Weird |
 You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! |
Wicker Park
I just said the last pic from Devdas... I dint say last pic did i :D ... Diane Kreuger and josh Hartnett
Monday, September 19, 2005
Movie freak!
Yes, Im crazy about movies. So sue me :P
Saw Josh Hartnett’s Wicker Park the other day.
And Im still in awe.
I love expressions, I love details, I love hidden underlying meanings.
What a wonderfully weird and beautiful movie.
Does love and obsession like that exist…
How I love movies. The right moment, the right song and all my senses come to life. The real world slips away without a moment’s notice and there I am, sitting on the floor in the airport, trying to keep from dying, knowing I really lost him… him being an unparalleled world for me, an unparalleled way of existence, everything I had always known I wanted, and everything I had never known I could want… I had lost him again. Why I lost him? I would mourn that later… just the I lost him again part had me in a cramping, sickening pit.
And then the single whisper, the slight movement, the vague feeling of him… turn around and there he is…
How wonderfully the last scene was acted out, Im still reeling from the surrealness of it. The way he sat down behind her, the way he looked at her, the way she felt his presence, the way they hugged. It was so… beautiful. Pure human emotions. Life-like.
It took my breath away.
That’s what I love about movies. If nicely made and wonderfully acted out, they take on a life of their own. Like Devdas. The new one with Shah Rukh Khan. The serenity shown in Madhuri’s character, the depth in it that one wouldnt fathom in someone of her profession otherwise. Look beyond what I do, she says quietly, see im human, I can love and bleed, too. The way she looks at him and the way she would say a single line... made me want to watch the movie again and again and again. That's what love is like i kept thinking. And Shah Rukh Khan. Where do I begin? I like him a lot, but I think he usually shows this typical way of acting… I cant explain it… the way he carries out his lines and smiles is similar in all movies except a few, Devdas being one of them. Now his acting in that was epic, monumental, excellent. I cried through out the movie. Every scene of his was brilliant, every line said with such sheer brilliance that only Shah Rukh Khan could possess. His timing perfect, his tone perfect, his gestures perfect without being too plastic. Everything in him was so human and so raw, pulsating and aching that what happened to him still has me in a very painful grip, every time I think of that movie. And the cinematography, the sets, the dresses. Oh my GOD!!! Exquisite! So rich, they speak volumes by themselves. You can actually envision the floor Madhuri dances on beneath your own feet. Beautiful in its perfection is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of this movie.
That is the **magic **of cinema for me. Good actors plus a little effort put into the rest of the works, and you will have a movie so creatively wonderful that its perfection will echo into eons.
Saw Josh Hartnett’s Wicker Park the other day.
And Im still in awe.
I love expressions, I love details, I love hidden underlying meanings.
What a wonderfully weird and beautiful movie.
Does love and obsession like that exist…
How I love movies. The right moment, the right song and all my senses come to life. The real world slips away without a moment’s notice and there I am, sitting on the floor in the airport, trying to keep from dying, knowing I really lost him… him being an unparalleled world for me, an unparalleled way of existence, everything I had always known I wanted, and everything I had never known I could want… I had lost him again. Why I lost him? I would mourn that later… just the I lost him again part had me in a cramping, sickening pit.
And then the single whisper, the slight movement, the vague feeling of him… turn around and there he is…
How wonderfully the last scene was acted out, Im still reeling from the surrealness of it. The way he sat down behind her, the way he looked at her, the way she felt his presence, the way they hugged. It was so… beautiful. Pure human emotions. Life-like.
It took my breath away.
That’s what I love about movies. If nicely made and wonderfully acted out, they take on a life of their own. Like Devdas. The new one with Shah Rukh Khan. The serenity shown in Madhuri’s character, the depth in it that one wouldnt fathom in someone of her profession otherwise. Look beyond what I do, she says quietly, see im human, I can love and bleed, too. The way she looks at him and the way she would say a single line... made me want to watch the movie again and again and again. That's what love is like i kept thinking. And Shah Rukh Khan. Where do I begin? I like him a lot, but I think he usually shows this typical way of acting… I cant explain it… the way he carries out his lines and smiles is similar in all movies except a few, Devdas being one of them. Now his acting in that was epic, monumental, excellent. I cried through out the movie. Every scene of his was brilliant, every line said with such sheer brilliance that only Shah Rukh Khan could possess. His timing perfect, his tone perfect, his gestures perfect without being too plastic. Everything in him was so human and so raw, pulsating and aching that what happened to him still has me in a very painful grip, every time I think of that movie. And the cinematography, the sets, the dresses. Oh my GOD!!! Exquisite! So rich, they speak volumes by themselves. You can actually envision the floor Madhuri dances on beneath your own feet. Beautiful in its perfection is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of this movie.
That is the **magic **of cinema for me. Good actors plus a little effort put into the rest of the works, and you will have a movie so creatively wonderful that its perfection will echo into eons.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Life’s a bitch… now so am I.
-Batman Returns
Its been a weird couple of weeks at college lately. All us friends have somehow metamorphosized (is that even a word??) into super-bitches. we bite, we claw, we bitch, we do the whole routine. Raging tempers. And patience seems to be coming in smaller and smaller doses.
The thing being, I like my friends a lot. They are really nice people. All of them. I hate the fact that we get irritated so often, lose our patience with each other so easily and snap at each other so much. Maybe it’s the fact that the beginning days are gone, the need to get into each other’s good books are gone. And now that we know each other a little more, we have found out things (personality traits) about each other that we cannot quite stand. To me, that still doesn’t seem like a good enough reason though to make each other miserable. We get irritated so easily and are mean to each other in ways more than just harsh words. And its not just any one of us. Its all of us… baari baari. I hate it. I never became friends with these girls with the intention of being bitchy to them. So ok, we have our differences. Who doesn’t? personally it would be a tad bit dull if we didn’t. now if these differences were something I couldn’t work around, I would probably not hang around with them anymore. Im not the type of person who has patience to do things I don’t wanna do (my bad, I know).
I just don’t know what is wrong… has Med-school finally got its claws into us??? Has the extra-stress gotten us into being the extremely anal people that we are now, so much so that we completely refuse to be patient, considerate and just the plain nice human beings that we all are?
-Batman Returns
Its been a weird couple of weeks at college lately. All us friends have somehow metamorphosized (is that even a word??) into super-bitches. we bite, we claw, we bitch, we do the whole routine. Raging tempers. And patience seems to be coming in smaller and smaller doses.
The thing being, I like my friends a lot. They are really nice people. All of them. I hate the fact that we get irritated so often, lose our patience with each other so easily and snap at each other so much. Maybe it’s the fact that the beginning days are gone, the need to get into each other’s good books are gone. And now that we know each other a little more, we have found out things (personality traits) about each other that we cannot quite stand. To me, that still doesn’t seem like a good enough reason though to make each other miserable. We get irritated so easily and are mean to each other in ways more than just harsh words. And its not just any one of us. Its all of us… baari baari. I hate it. I never became friends with these girls with the intention of being bitchy to them. So ok, we have our differences. Who doesn’t? personally it would be a tad bit dull if we didn’t. now if these differences were something I couldn’t work around, I would probably not hang around with them anymore. Im not the type of person who has patience to do things I don’t wanna do (my bad, I know).
I just don’t know what is wrong… has Med-school finally got its claws into us??? Has the extra-stress gotten us into being the extremely anal people that we are now, so much so that we completely refuse to be patient, considerate and just the plain nice human beings that we all are?
Monday, September 12, 2005
Rain… beautiful, beautiful rain...
It has been raining heavily on and off since three days. Surprising, since the rainy months for Karachi (July and August) have long gone. It used to alternate between cloudy and hot/humid in those months with a few random rain drops here and there. But no rain.
No proper rain.
The type that comes down heavily and blankets you.
Everything looks greener today. Colors more vibrant, the sky clearer than it has been in days. Even the birds, while water-drenched and trying to dry themselves, hiding under roofs, seem to be chirping louder. As if their spirits have lifted again after the whole waiting-for-rain episode. Or perhaps they are just thanking God in a very loud and noisy manner. Lol, I dont mind the noise. Id rather like to think it was the second case, them thanking Allah for sending this beautiful rain.
Im drinking water from this totally adorable white and pink flowered mug that Sush gave me.
*** No, im not a weirdo who uses mugs for water and tumblers for tea n coffee... i just happen to be in a habit of drinking a lot of water and a little while from now ill switch over to drinking coffee in the mug.***
Its colors seem to reflect my mood... the pink is so..... pink! for the lack of any other word. The flowers are huge, beautiful in their own essence, the mug perfect in its perfectness.
I feel that way today.
Beautiful. Untarnished. Unspoilt.
I feel perfect and smug.
With my beautiful colors and big flowers and balance between my heart and mind.
I feel perfect.
I think i should join the birds outside, be loud and noisy, sing praises in the name of my Lord.
Beautiful, heavenly rain.
How you healed my soul, even if it is just for a while...
No proper rain.
The type that comes down heavily and blankets you.
Everything looks greener today. Colors more vibrant, the sky clearer than it has been in days. Even the birds, while water-drenched and trying to dry themselves, hiding under roofs, seem to be chirping louder. As if their spirits have lifted again after the whole waiting-for-rain episode. Or perhaps they are just thanking God in a very loud and noisy manner. Lol, I dont mind the noise. Id rather like to think it was the second case, them thanking Allah for sending this beautiful rain.
Im drinking water from this totally adorable white and pink flowered mug that Sush gave me.
*** No, im not a weirdo who uses mugs for water and tumblers for tea n coffee... i just happen to be in a habit of drinking a lot of water and a little while from now ill switch over to drinking coffee in the mug.***
Its colors seem to reflect my mood... the pink is so..... pink! for the lack of any other word. The flowers are huge, beautiful in their own essence, the mug perfect in its perfectness.
I feel that way today.
Beautiful. Untarnished. Unspoilt.
I feel perfect and smug.
With my beautiful colors and big flowers and balance between my heart and mind.
I feel perfect.
I think i should join the birds outside, be loud and noisy, sing praises in the name of my Lord.
Beautiful, heavenly rain.
How you healed my soul, even if it is just for a while...
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Just wondering...
How many people are there in the world, right now, living and breathing?
How many have already passed away?
How many are still to come?
Im bad with facts and figures, so im guessing a HUGE group....
Allah loves each of His 'banda/bandi' 70 times more than a mother loves her child.
So I am just imagining Allah loving each person in the HUGE group, 70 times more than my mum loves me.... i feel light-headed....
Allah has so much love for us... I feel blessed...
How many have already passed away?
How many are still to come?
Im bad with facts and figures, so im guessing a HUGE group....
Allah loves each of His 'banda/bandi' 70 times more than a mother loves her child.
So I am just imagining Allah loving each person in the HUGE group, 70 times more than my mum loves me.... i feel light-headed....
Allah has so much love for us... I feel blessed...
Today, Allah, I wish for patience...
when people push all my wrong buttons,
when they get on my nerves,
when they act obnoxious and arrogant,
Allah, grant me patience so I can hold my tongue.
when my best intentions are met with hostile undue reactions,
when I get a pile of crap hurled my way for being who I am and for standing on my principles,
when people walk all over me, taking advantage of the fact that I have been taught not to reply back,
Allah, grant me patience so I dont bite their heads off.
when all my hard work has had no effect,
when my time is running out,
when all I can think of doing now is giving up on it and sinking further into my glum pit,
Allah, grant me patience so I can hold on a little longer.
Tomorrow maybe ill ask for a Mercedes Benz... :D
but today, i would just like a good dose of Patience.
when people push all my wrong buttons,
when they get on my nerves,
when they act obnoxious and arrogant,
Allah, grant me patience so I can hold my tongue.
when my best intentions are met with hostile undue reactions,
when I get a pile of crap hurled my way for being who I am and for standing on my principles,
when people walk all over me, taking advantage of the fact that I have been taught not to reply back,
Allah, grant me patience so I dont bite their heads off.
when all my hard work has had no effect,
when my time is running out,
when all I can think of doing now is giving up on it and sinking further into my glum pit,
Allah, grant me patience so I can hold on a little longer.
Tomorrow maybe ill ask for a Mercedes Benz... :D
but today, i would just like a good dose of Patience.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
I think we do ourselves great injustice when we do not allow oursleves to feel... something that could open our minds and hearts to amazing possibilities... something that could enrich our lives beyond imagination... something that could perhaps be the best thing that ever happened to us...
I think we do oursleves great injustice when we do not allow ourselves to feel love.
Just because we think we are so much better or could do so much better than the person on the recieving/giving end of that love
I think we do oursleves great injustice when we do not allow ourselves to feel love.
Just because we think we are so much better or could do so much better than the person on the recieving/giving end of that love
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Female Beauty....
many words, poems, songs have been written about it...
but I dont think anything has ever done justice to it, the way Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's work has in this song of his...
That is what moves me about poetry… something so simple… like someone’s eyes perhaps… can be described in so many ways using the simplest of words to create an effect that is so enormously profound...
lol, the romantic that I am, this song, I believe, is what love is all about… loving someone so perfectly that she seems almost ethereal…
Anyway here is the song…
Afreen afreen
Husn e jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
To bhi dekhey agar
To kahe hum nasheen
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Aisa dekha nahi khoobsurat koyi
Jism jaisey ajanta ki murat koyi
Jism jaisey nigahon ka jadoo koyi
Jism naghma koyi, jism khusboo koi
Jism jaisey machalti huwi raagni
Jism jaisey mehakti huwi chandni
Jism jaisey k khilta hua ek chaman
Jism jaisey k suraj ki pehli kiran
Jism tarshaah hua dilkasho dilnasheen
Sandaleen sandaleen mar mareen
Sandaleen sandaleen mar mareen
Ankhein dekhii to mey dekhta reh gaya
Jaam do aur dono hi do atisha
Ankhein ya makaidey k woh do baab hain
Ankhein un ko kahoon ya kahoon khawab hai
Ankhein neechi huwi to haya ban gayii
Ankhein unchi huwi to duaa ban gayii
Ankhein uth kar jhuki to adaa ban gayii
Ankhein jhukh key uthi to qazza ban gayii
Ankhein jin mey hai qaid asmano zameen
Nargasii nargassi surmagii surmagii
Nargasii nargasii surmagii surmagii
Husn e jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
To bhi dekhey agar
To kahey hum nasheen
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
many words, poems, songs have been written about it...
but I dont think anything has ever done justice to it, the way Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's work has in this song of his...
That is what moves me about poetry… something so simple… like someone’s eyes perhaps… can be described in so many ways using the simplest of words to create an effect that is so enormously profound...
lol, the romantic that I am, this song, I believe, is what love is all about… loving someone so perfectly that she seems almost ethereal…
Anyway here is the song…
Afreen afreen
Husn e jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
To bhi dekhey agar
To kahe hum nasheen
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Aisa dekha nahi khoobsurat koyi
Jism jaisey ajanta ki murat koyi
Jism jaisey nigahon ka jadoo koyi
Jism naghma koyi, jism khusboo koi
Jism jaisey machalti huwi raagni
Jism jaisey mehakti huwi chandni
Jism jaisey k khilta hua ek chaman
Jism jaisey k suraj ki pehli kiran
Jism tarshaah hua dilkasho dilnasheen
Sandaleen sandaleen mar mareen
Sandaleen sandaleen mar mareen
Ankhein dekhii to mey dekhta reh gaya
Jaam do aur dono hi do atisha
Ankhein ya makaidey k woh do baab hain
Ankhein un ko kahoon ya kahoon khawab hai
Ankhein neechi huwi to haya ban gayii
Ankhein unchi huwi to duaa ban gayii
Ankhein uth kar jhuki to adaa ban gayii
Ankhein jhukh key uthi to qazza ban gayii
Ankhein jin mey hai qaid asmano zameen
Nargasii nargassi surmagii surmagii
Nargasii nargasii surmagii surmagii
Husn e jaana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
To bhi dekhey agar
To kahey hum nasheen
Afreen afreen
Afreen afreen
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Husn e jana ki tareef mumkin nahi
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Truly entertaining…
During channel surfing today, me and Honey (Honey and I… whatever!) came across the Pakistani movie channel, Filmazia. Now when they say, our movies are pure entertainment, take their word for it. Lol, seriously.
So we sat there wide-eyed. There was a song playing where this huge (im not kidding… huge!!!) female was dancing, and apparently trying to please a very disgruntled and rutha hua yaar. She would hop for him, run circles around him, mess with his hair and than pull his cheeks… it would have all been a little cute. Lol, but what made it funny was the fact that the hero was even bigger than her, they looked like a pair of dancing pandas, and he had a flat burger cut and big moustache, which the female was pulling again and again. Lol, it was hilarious.
Then comes the even funnier part… lol, yes there is more, I told you pure entertainment, they wont disappoint you… so after the song ends, Mr. and Mrs. Panda, whose screen names are apparently Shehzada and Shehzadi (im not kiddin), are cuddling around when a villian comes along… he is super-smart, pencil-thin in front of these two. So he looks at them with a smirk on his face and tells Shehzada
Pyaar to bahot karliya… ab thordi maar bi kha lo…
Lol, thats when I fell off the couch laughing and my sister, taking mercy on me, changed the channel.
Next time someone asks me why I dont watch Pakistani movies, ill make sure I tell them this ‘nice and entertaining’ movie.
So we sat there wide-eyed. There was a song playing where this huge (im not kidding… huge!!!) female was dancing, and apparently trying to please a very disgruntled and rutha hua yaar. She would hop for him, run circles around him, mess with his hair and than pull his cheeks… it would have all been a little cute. Lol, but what made it funny was the fact that the hero was even bigger than her, they looked like a pair of dancing pandas, and he had a flat burger cut and big moustache, which the female was pulling again and again. Lol, it was hilarious.
Then comes the even funnier part… lol, yes there is more, I told you pure entertainment, they wont disappoint you… so after the song ends, Mr. and Mrs. Panda, whose screen names are apparently Shehzada and Shehzadi (im not kiddin), are cuddling around when a villian comes along… he is super-smart, pencil-thin in front of these two. So he looks at them with a smirk on his face and tells Shehzada
Pyaar to bahot karliya… ab thordi maar bi kha lo…
Lol, thats when I fell off the couch laughing and my sister, taking mercy on me, changed the channel.
Next time someone asks me why I dont watch Pakistani movies, ill make sure I tell them this ‘nice and entertaining’ movie.
Friday, September 02, 2005
An old favourite of mine, this song makes me want to dance around in circles... the guy's voice makes me smile...
Being one of those grains of sand
I get blown all around the world
And what I make of it
Oh I don’t know
what's the meaning of it
oh I don't know
I’ve been around so many times
that the world's turning in my mind
what do I think of it
oh it's so so
what more can you be than the things they say you've been
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
just say you love me
just say you love me
I never ever realized
it's so easy to make you cry
but did I break a bit
oh I hope no
have you forgot about it
oh I hope so
but you never ever wonder why
in every single pair of eyes
there is a hunger in it
or it's soul dies
what more can you be than the things they say you've been
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
just say you love me
come on now darling say you love me
oh yeah please please say you love me
come on say you love me
Say you love me - Simply Red
Being one of those grains of sand
I get blown all around the world
And what I make of it
Oh I don’t know
what's the meaning of it
oh I don't know
I’ve been around so many times
that the world's turning in my mind
what do I think of it
oh it's so so
what more can you be than the things they say you've been
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
just say you love me
just say you love me
I never ever realized
it's so easy to make you cry
but did I break a bit
oh I hope no
have you forgot about it
oh I hope so
but you never ever wonder why
in every single pair of eyes
there is a hunger in it
or it's soul dies
what more can you be than the things they say you've been
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
say you love me all around the world
stay and hug me all around the world
be yours a boy or be mine a girl
just say you love me
come on now darling say you love me
oh yeah please please say you love me
come on say you love me
Say you love me - Simply Red
Friday, August 26, 2005
Convinced yet again...
He is the Al-Mighty, the All knowing...
(I love you, Allah... for the mercy and love You shower me with, even when I dont deserve it)
Like so many times before in my life
I stand here again
Same place
Yet again convinced of His love for me.
When I had lost hope,
And gone mad with despair,
Thinking nothing could come to any good now,
What I loved and had worked so hard for is lost
Everything is lost.
Allah told me, hold on,
This is for the best.
It’ll come to you.
Be patient and hold on.
I cried, I lamented, I held on,
Dint know what else to do.
Met zuljin yesterday.
He told me stuff I hadn’t known than.
I came back home and cried again
This time with relief
And happiness
I felt blessed and loved
I had been too human
I had failed to understand
I had accepted the “best”
But failed to understand…
It was a relief to finally understand
To finally know..
What had happened had really been for the best
It had never been my fault
It hadn’t been me…
It was a relief to be able to stop the self-blame process
It was a relief to finally understand why Allah had taken away what made me happy
It was a relief to finally understand His love behind His apparent cruelty
It was a relief to be able to let go finally, to let the past slip away
(I love you, Allah... for the mercy and love You shower me with, even when I dont deserve it)
Like so many times before in my life
I stand here again
Same place
Yet again convinced of His love for me.
When I had lost hope,
And gone mad with despair,
Thinking nothing could come to any good now,
What I loved and had worked so hard for is lost
Everything is lost.
Allah told me, hold on,
This is for the best.
It’ll come to you.
Be patient and hold on.
I cried, I lamented, I held on,
Dint know what else to do.
Met zuljin yesterday.
He told me stuff I hadn’t known than.
I came back home and cried again
This time with relief
And happiness
I felt blessed and loved
I had been too human
I had failed to understand
I had accepted the “best”
But failed to understand…
It was a relief to finally understand
To finally know..
What had happened had really been for the best
It had never been my fault
It hadn’t been me…
It was a relief to be able to stop the self-blame process
It was a relief to finally understand why Allah had taken away what made me happy
It was a relief to finally understand His love behind His apparent cruelty
It was a relief to be able to let go finally, to let the past slip away
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
logon say aksar yeh kehtay suna hai,
key zinda rahay to phir milain gay,
magar is dil nay hamesha yeh mehsoos kia hai,
keh miltay rahay to zinda rahain gay.
I read it on this blog a few days ago... A few words take away effort on your part to explain how you feel
key zinda rahay to phir milain gay,
magar is dil nay hamesha yeh mehsoos kia hai,
keh miltay rahay to zinda rahain gay.
I read it on this blog a few days ago... A few words take away effort on your part to explain how you feel
Monday, August 22, 2005
Still in shock...
I was saddened and disgusted beyond belief when I read this a few days ago. Instead of punishing the person responsible, the couple's marriage was dissolved??? The last I remember, the punishment of rape had been different...
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Just finished the sixth book in the series of Harry Potter, The Half Blood Prince.
It was excellent.
And dont give me the crap about it being for kids. Read all six books for yourself and then tell me you arent waiting for the seventh one.
Though I still feel awful about the ending. Like I had said once before, isnt it bad enough that people you love die in real life. Why does it have to be that way in books and movies too. These two are supposed to be my escape from the realities of life Id rather close my eyes to than face. (see, thats why I love fairytales… happy endings and happily-forevers are my kind of thing…)
Dumbledore died... I still havent gotten used to the fact that Sirius Black is dead, now they kill one of my other favorites in the series…
Not fair. **sniff**
Mo, Ive decided, is crazy. He remembers every little detail from all six books. When I say every little, I mean every little. He freaked me out big time yesterday with all sorts of stuff that I dint even remember was ever there in the books. Remember RAB? Remember the necklace? Remember this, remember that? Onnnnnnnnn he went.
But he is smart, that ill say. Oh, and he thinks Dumbledore is not dead (YAY!) cuz Avara Kedavra spell leaves no mark, and something weird had happened to Dumbledore when he died.
Go figure.
All I know is that if the oldy doesnt come back in the next two books, I know who to kick for getting my hopes all up and running.
It was excellent.
And dont give me the crap about it being for kids. Read all six books for yourself and then tell me you arent waiting for the seventh one.
Though I still feel awful about the ending. Like I had said once before, isnt it bad enough that people you love die in real life. Why does it have to be that way in books and movies too. These two are supposed to be my escape from the realities of life Id rather close my eyes to than face. (see, thats why I love fairytales… happy endings and happily-forevers are my kind of thing…)
Dumbledore died... I still havent gotten used to the fact that Sirius Black is dead, now they kill one of my other favorites in the series…
Not fair. **sniff**
Mo, Ive decided, is crazy. He remembers every little detail from all six books. When I say every little, I mean every little. He freaked me out big time yesterday with all sorts of stuff that I dint even remember was ever there in the books. Remember RAB? Remember the necklace? Remember this, remember that? Onnnnnnnnn he went.
But he is smart, that ill say. Oh, and he thinks Dumbledore is not dead (YAY!) cuz Avara Kedavra spell leaves no mark, and something weird had happened to Dumbledore when he died.
Go figure.
All I know is that if the oldy doesnt come back in the next two books, I know who to kick for getting my hopes all up and running.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
After some meaningful and deep soul searching… well, not really, Im just trying to avoid studying, and since the TV has been taken over by Baby Titan, Im left with nothing to do but blog.
But khair, after some meaningful and deep soul searching, I think Im more on the path of accepting life the way it is. Or atleast one aspect of life that had been bothering me a lot lately.
Im not at all perfect, not even close to it. More human than I was ever planning to be. So it bothers me that she would still expect us to be happy-larky-bestest buddies after everything that happened.
I mean where were you when we were actually something close to best buds?
I may be a bitch most of the time, I may be an inconsiderate ass, I may be a lot of other things but when it comes to being fair and loyal to my friends, I think Ive always done well on those grounds. Ive always tried going way out my way to be supportive and everything else I am supposed to be.
So what happened was a stroke of bad luck for me, I know. Not her fault I admit. So knowing and admiting that, I did what I was supposed to do, as a good person and as a good friend (I go thru these phases sometimes, much to my dismay). I still dont regret my decision or my sacrifice. I dont regret what I lost. But ill be damned if she thinks it will all be ok if we just close our eyes to it. That nothing has changed. Wake up, woman. Everything has changed. I have changed. For good or bad, I duno. But I have. So stop pretending that everything can go back to the way it was. It cant. We could still be friends, good ones maybe, but please stop acting like you have my best interest at your heart. Tried and tested, you dont. So enough of the act. I couldnt come to terms with it earlier, was in denial for a long while, but Im tired of it now. Im tired of the present-all-smiles smsz and the phone calls. Im tired of feeling guilty when I havent even done anything. Im tired of acting like everything is bright and shiny and happy between us when it isnt. Im tired of watching you act blind. Please just for 5 minutes acknowledge the fact that nothing is ok between us. That everything has changed. Maybe after that you could realize the consequences of what you did, what I did… maybe than we could truly move on and try giving ‘being real friends’ another shot.
Till than ill remain irritated at you, and this time without any guilt. I dint do anything to deserve this guilt and you bloody well know it.
But khair, after some meaningful and deep soul searching, I think Im more on the path of accepting life the way it is. Or atleast one aspect of life that had been bothering me a lot lately.
Im not at all perfect, not even close to it. More human than I was ever planning to be. So it bothers me that she would still expect us to be happy-larky-bestest buddies after everything that happened.
I mean where were you when we were actually something close to best buds?
I may be a bitch most of the time, I may be an inconsiderate ass, I may be a lot of other things but when it comes to being fair and loyal to my friends, I think Ive always done well on those grounds. Ive always tried going way out my way to be supportive and everything else I am supposed to be.
So what happened was a stroke of bad luck for me, I know. Not her fault I admit. So knowing and admiting that, I did what I was supposed to do, as a good person and as a good friend (I go thru these phases sometimes, much to my dismay). I still dont regret my decision or my sacrifice. I dont regret what I lost. But ill be damned if she thinks it will all be ok if we just close our eyes to it. That nothing has changed. Wake up, woman. Everything has changed. I have changed. For good or bad, I duno. But I have. So stop pretending that everything can go back to the way it was. It cant. We could still be friends, good ones maybe, but please stop acting like you have my best interest at your heart. Tried and tested, you dont. So enough of the act. I couldnt come to terms with it earlier, was in denial for a long while, but Im tired of it now. Im tired of the present-all-smiles smsz and the phone calls. Im tired of feeling guilty when I havent even done anything. Im tired of acting like everything is bright and shiny and happy between us when it isnt. Im tired of watching you act blind. Please just for 5 minutes acknowledge the fact that nothing is ok between us. That everything has changed. Maybe after that you could realize the consequences of what you did, what I did… maybe than we could truly move on and try giving ‘being real friends’ another shot.
Till than ill remain irritated at you, and this time without any guilt. I dint do anything to deserve this guilt and you bloody well know it.
Run Lola (in this case, sohnii) Run
I present to you the runner.
Yep. Me. Moi. The Runner.
I’ve always loved running.
In 10th grade, I ran the 100m race on Official School Sports Day, didn’t stop at the finish line, ran straight into the audience section and toppled over a few chairs. They gave me the first prize for being so over-enthusiastic :D
I still love running. I’ll prefer it over any other form of physical activity meant to burn calories. If I had enough perseverance I would probably spend an hour or two on my treadmill everyday (but since its manual, I hate it.)
Yeah, so I’m a runner. I run from everything that remotely frightens me in real life as well. especially feelings... other people’s and my own. I am emotion-o-phobic. The closest I’ve come to appreciating love is in books, movies or in real life, that of my family’s. The rest I am still allergic to. A guy who used to be in school with me once commented (he said and I quote) : What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you break out in hives every time I tell you I like you?
Sorry mate. It wasn’t you. It was me.
It still is me. Anything that remotely resembles emotions, commitment and the whole affair (no pun intended), I break out into a sweat and look for the nearest exit. If someone catches my fancy, the most I’ll do is talk to him and maybe flirt a little (or a lot... :) I am human, you know) but as soon as there is anything resembling an involvement looming on the horizon, I’ll be having mini-heart attacks. Then watch me convince him and myself that there isn’t anything between us.
I don’t know what the deal with me is ok (Stop giving me/my blog dirty looks!)
Maybe it’s a congenital defect, or perhaps a complex syndrome induced due to Substance abuse (I had insane amounts of Coke and Channa Chat in school I admit….
*guilty, looking down on the floor*) or maybe I am just plain crazy.
Whatever, it is, here I am, still a runner. Maybe I should take off my trainers for a while, see how it feels to sit in one place for longer than 10 minutes. Tried doing that once though. Then automatically thought about the possibility of getting hurt or worst, not getting hurt, actually committing to that person and planning a whole life. That was when I reached out for my shoes again and got out of the door as quick as I could.
For those of you still wondering about my previous “looking for the perfect guy” posts, in my defense I come up with I’m confused. Yeah I want a nice guy, humor and the whole package, but I cant stop running as soon as someone even a little like that approaches.
I think I have unsettled issues.
I think I need to see a therapist.
Yep. Me. Moi. The Runner.
I’ve always loved running.
In 10th grade, I ran the 100m race on Official School Sports Day, didn’t stop at the finish line, ran straight into the audience section and toppled over a few chairs. They gave me the first prize for being so over-enthusiastic :D
I still love running. I’ll prefer it over any other form of physical activity meant to burn calories. If I had enough perseverance I would probably spend an hour or two on my treadmill everyday (but since its manual, I hate it.)
Yeah, so I’m a runner. I run from everything that remotely frightens me in real life as well. especially feelings... other people’s and my own. I am emotion-o-phobic. The closest I’ve come to appreciating love is in books, movies or in real life, that of my family’s. The rest I am still allergic to. A guy who used to be in school with me once commented (he said and I quote) : What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you break out in hives every time I tell you I like you?
Sorry mate. It wasn’t you. It was me.
It still is me. Anything that remotely resembles emotions, commitment and the whole affair (no pun intended), I break out into a sweat and look for the nearest exit. If someone catches my fancy, the most I’ll do is talk to him and maybe flirt a little (or a lot... :) I am human, you know) but as soon as there is anything resembling an involvement looming on the horizon, I’ll be having mini-heart attacks. Then watch me convince him and myself that there isn’t anything between us.
I don’t know what the deal with me is ok (Stop giving me/my blog dirty looks!)
Maybe it’s a congenital defect, or perhaps a complex syndrome induced due to Substance abuse (I had insane amounts of Coke and Channa Chat in school I admit….
*guilty, looking down on the floor*) or maybe I am just plain crazy.
Whatever, it is, here I am, still a runner. Maybe I should take off my trainers for a while, see how it feels to sit in one place for longer than 10 minutes. Tried doing that once though. Then automatically thought about the possibility of getting hurt or worst, not getting hurt, actually committing to that person and planning a whole life. That was when I reached out for my shoes again and got out of the door as quick as I could.
For those of you still wondering about my previous “looking for the perfect guy” posts, in my defense I come up with I’m confused. Yeah I want a nice guy, humor and the whole package, but I cant stop running as soon as someone even a little like that approaches.
I think I have unsettled issues.
I think I need to see a therapist.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
See how I did, what do u think?
I took this quiz:What Mythological Creature are you? created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Angel.
Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest and to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.
Pass the mirror please!
5th grade:
dad taking me to the hair dressers. me ending up with something resembling a micro-bob. dad thinking its cool. me... i just wished i could disappear somewhere till they grew back.
7th grade:
being tall is not fun, especially when everyone in your year is a foot shorter than you... even the guys.
9th grade:
ugly duckling hasn't left the building yet. wish i had discovered the wonders of wax back than.
O-levels farewell:
what the hell did i do to myself, i still dont know. pink eye shadow, pink lipstick, pink me = ugly me
A-levels:
short hair, taller people around me. i feel a little at home. maybe it'll all be ok. i mite just make it. the hair color did wonders i think.
Present Uni-life:
nope. i give up. im not going to make it. Im still tall, fat and the ugly duckling is back for good.
dad taking me to the hair dressers. me ending up with something resembling a micro-bob. dad thinking its cool. me... i just wished i could disappear somewhere till they grew back.
7th grade:
being tall is not fun, especially when everyone in your year is a foot shorter than you... even the guys.
9th grade:
ugly duckling hasn't left the building yet. wish i had discovered the wonders of wax back than.
O-levels farewell:
what the hell did i do to myself, i still dont know. pink eye shadow, pink lipstick, pink me = ugly me
A-levels:
short hair, taller people around me. i feel a little at home. maybe it'll all be ok. i mite just make it. the hair color did wonders i think.
Present Uni-life:
nope. i give up. im not going to make it. Im still tall, fat and the ugly duckling is back for good.
And I would do anything for love, I’d run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love, I’ll never lie to you and that's a fact
But I’ll never forget the way you feel right now, oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, I won't do that
Anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, oh I won't do that
Some days it don't come easy, and some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're breathing fire, and some nights you're carved in ice
Some nights you're like nothing I’ve ever seen before or will again
Maybe I’m crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you
As long as the planets are turning, as long as the stars are burning
As long as your dreams are coming true, you better believe it
That I would do anything for love, and I’ll be there till the final act
I would do anything for love, and I’ll take a vow and seal a pact
But I’ll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight
And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
Oh I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no I won't do that
I would do anything for love, anything you've been dreaming of
But I just won't do that
Some days I pray for silence, and somedays I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n roll
Some nights I lose the feeling, and some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls
Maybe I’m lonely and that's all I’m qualified to be
There's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep
As long as the wheels are turning, as long as the fires are burning
As long as your prayers are coming true, you better believe it
That I would do anything for love, and you know it's true and that's a fact
I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back
But I’ll never do it better than I do it with you, so long, so long
And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no no no I won't do that
I would do anything for love, anything you've been dreaming of
But I just won't do that
But I’ll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life, no way
And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
No I won't do that
Will you raise me up, will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?
I can do that! I can do that!
Will you hold me sacred? will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I’m so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?
I can do that! oh oh, now I can do that!
Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?
I can do that! oh oh now, I can do that!
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I’ve never known?
I can do that! oh oh now, I can do that!
After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on
I won't do that! no I won't do that!
I know the territory, I’ve been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
And sooner or later, you'll be screwing around
I won't do that! no I won't do that!
Anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no I won't do that
I would do anything for love (but I wont do that) - Meat Loaf
I would do anything for love, I’ll never lie to you and that's a fact
But I’ll never forget the way you feel right now, oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, I won't do that
Anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, oh I won't do that
Some days it don't come easy, and some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're breathing fire, and some nights you're carved in ice
Some nights you're like nothing I’ve ever seen before or will again
Maybe I’m crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you
As long as the planets are turning, as long as the stars are burning
As long as your dreams are coming true, you better believe it
That I would do anything for love, and I’ll be there till the final act
I would do anything for love, and I’ll take a vow and seal a pact
But I’ll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight
And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
Oh I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no I won't do that
I would do anything for love, anything you've been dreaming of
But I just won't do that
Some days I pray for silence, and somedays I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n roll
Some nights I lose the feeling, and some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls
Maybe I’m lonely and that's all I’m qualified to be
There's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep
As long as the wheels are turning, as long as the fires are burning
As long as your prayers are coming true, you better believe it
That I would do anything for love, and you know it's true and that's a fact
I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back
But I’ll never do it better than I do it with you, so long, so long
And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no no no I won't do that
I would do anything for love, anything you've been dreaming of
But I just won't do that
But I’ll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life, no way
And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
No I won't do that
Will you raise me up, will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?
I can do that! I can do that!
Will you hold me sacred? will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I’m so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?
I can do that! oh oh, now I can do that!
Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?
I can do that! oh oh now, I can do that!
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I’ve never known?
I can do that! oh oh now, I can do that!
After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on
I won't do that! no I won't do that!
I know the territory, I’ve been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
And sooner or later, you'll be screwing around
I won't do that! no I won't do that!
Anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no I won't do that
I would do anything for love (but I wont do that) - Meat Loaf
That’s the funny thing about me, I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.
Xander - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
See thats why I like Buffy. It makes sense to me. What people say in it makes sense to me and i can relate to it.
Its tiring trying to interpret what people say to you. They think one thing, they say something else, and they mean something else entirely and im lost somewhere in between trying to translate the words, the signals and the whatsnot. Plus since i consider myself a bit slower than the rest, i like it better when people are straight with me, and they say what they mean and mean what they say.
(huh? i dint make sense to myself there as well, dont worry :D)
Xander - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
See thats why I like Buffy. It makes sense to me. What people say in it makes sense to me and i can relate to it.
Its tiring trying to interpret what people say to you. They think one thing, they say something else, and they mean something else entirely and im lost somewhere in between trying to translate the words, the signals and the whatsnot. Plus since i consider myself a bit slower than the rest, i like it better when people are straight with me, and they say what they mean and mean what they say.
(huh? i dint make sense to myself there as well, dont worry :D)
Adorable Shabbir
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Shabbir Pics uploaded (courtesy of Ann and Sum)
I know Im crazy but look at him and tell me you dint go awww :D
He's so cute!
And i held him when he was just a day old! :D :D :D
Monday, August 15, 2005
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Baby S!
Razia had a baby boy!!!
on wednesday
she named him Shabbir.
he is the most adorable little angel ever :D
he is shooo cute, with his tiny hands and feet
he woke up for like 5 seconds when i was holding him and then he went back to sleep
soooooo adorable :D
i felt like taking him and running away somewhere before razia could catch me...
lol, i know i have an evil mind but you guys dint see the baby :P
Tuesday was sad though.
one of the babies born that day had been dead for more than 12 hrs.
it was a girl, and she was all cyanosed.
We attended the delivery during our gynae evening.
i almost cried when i saw the baby, blue and all.
i dont have a big heart for things like these
i hope i dont see that again.
i wanna see more happy and sleeping babies, like razia's
i wanna see happy mothers who think med-students like us are crazy when we hold their babies for the longest of times and dont wanna let go
(oh n i definetly do not wanna see patients like Bibi Gull again who think Im lying about knowing persian and pushto just because i do not resemble uzbeks. She was a nightmare!)
note to self: *focus*
maybe ill post a pic of baby S, if anyone bothers sending ghareeb-camera mobile-less me his pic.
on a happier note, im glad i met razia. she was a delight. one of the sweetest souls ive come across. i hope she is always happy with her little baby, and the rest of her kids and family. Allah Mian, please keep her safe and healthy and happy always.
on wednesday
she named him Shabbir.
he is the most adorable little angel ever :D
he is shooo cute, with his tiny hands and feet
he woke up for like 5 seconds when i was holding him and then he went back to sleep
soooooo adorable :D
i felt like taking him and running away somewhere before razia could catch me...
lol, i know i have an evil mind but you guys dint see the baby :P
Tuesday was sad though.
one of the babies born that day had been dead for more than 12 hrs.
it was a girl, and she was all cyanosed.
We attended the delivery during our gynae evening.
i almost cried when i saw the baby, blue and all.
i dont have a big heart for things like these
i hope i dont see that again.
i wanna see more happy and sleeping babies, like razia's
i wanna see happy mothers who think med-students like us are crazy when we hold their babies for the longest of times and dont wanna let go
(oh n i definetly do not wanna see patients like Bibi Gull again who think Im lying about knowing persian and pushto just because i do not resemble uzbeks. She was a nightmare!)
note to self: *focus*
maybe ill post a pic of baby S, if anyone bothers sending ghareeb-camera mobile-less me his pic.
on a happier note, im glad i met razia. she was a delight. one of the sweetest souls ive come across. i hope she is always happy with her little baby, and the rest of her kids and family. Allah Mian, please keep her safe and healthy and happy always.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Make way for the Aunty!
Got myself specs two days ago...
which i refuse to wear..
have had this spec-o-phobia all my life that i'll look like an aunty in them
and now i have to wear them :'(
i couldn't be more miserable about it
so yeah, make way for the aunty!! as if looking older than my age wasn't bad enough, now i have to look like an old buddhi aunty.... argggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
which i refuse to wear..
have had this spec-o-phobia all my life that i'll look like an aunty in them
and now i have to wear them :'(
i couldn't be more miserable about it
so yeah, make way for the aunty!! as if looking older than my age wasn't bad enough, now i have to look like an old buddhi aunty.... argggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Matthew [at Gareth's funeral] - Four Weddings and a Funeral
Gareth used to prefer funerals to weddings. He said it was easier to get enthusiastic about a ceremony one had an outside chance of eventually being involved in. In order to prepare this speech, I rang a few people, to get a general picture of how Gareth was regarded by those who met him. Fat seems to be a word people most connected with him. Terribly rude also rang a lot of bells. So very fat and very rude seems to have been a stranger's viewpoint.
On the other hand, some of you have been kind enough to ring me to tell me that you loved him, which I know he'd be thrilled to hear. You remember his fabulous hospitality... his strange experimental cooking. The recipe for "Duck à la Banana" fortunately goes with him to his grave. Most of all, you tell me of his enormous capacity for joy. When joyful, when joyful for highly vocal drunkenness. But joyful is how I hope you'll remember him. Not stuck in a box in a church. Pick your favorite of his waistcoats and remember him that way. The most splendid, replete, big-hearted, weak-hearted as it turned out, and jolly bugger most of us ever met.
As for me, you may ask how I'll remember him, what I thought of him. Unfortunately there I don't have words. Perhaps you will forgive me if I turn from my own feelings to the words of another splendid bugger: W.H. Auden.
This is actually what I want to say:
"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin...Let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle, moaning overhead,
Scribbling on the sky the message: He is Dead.
Put crepe bows 'round the necks of public doves,
Let traffic policemen wear black, cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East, my West.
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now, put out every one.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour out the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good."
Gareth used to prefer funerals to weddings. He said it was easier to get enthusiastic about a ceremony one had an outside chance of eventually being involved in. In order to prepare this speech, I rang a few people, to get a general picture of how Gareth was regarded by those who met him. Fat seems to be a word people most connected with him. Terribly rude also rang a lot of bells. So very fat and very rude seems to have been a stranger's viewpoint.
On the other hand, some of you have been kind enough to ring me to tell me that you loved him, which I know he'd be thrilled to hear. You remember his fabulous hospitality... his strange experimental cooking. The recipe for "Duck à la Banana" fortunately goes with him to his grave. Most of all, you tell me of his enormous capacity for joy. When joyful, when joyful for highly vocal drunkenness. But joyful is how I hope you'll remember him. Not stuck in a box in a church. Pick your favorite of his waistcoats and remember him that way. The most splendid, replete, big-hearted, weak-hearted as it turned out, and jolly bugger most of us ever met.
As for me, you may ask how I'll remember him, what I thought of him. Unfortunately there I don't have words. Perhaps you will forgive me if I turn from my own feelings to the words of another splendid bugger: W.H. Auden.
This is actually what I want to say:
"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin...Let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle, moaning overhead,
Scribbling on the sky the message: He is Dead.
Put crepe bows 'round the necks of public doves,
Let traffic policemen wear black, cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East, my West.
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now, put out every one.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour out the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good."
He's all that
You know how when you love someone too much, nothing seems good enough for them? You’ll look at something, and go, nah! They deserve way better.
The very same way, I always thought no one would ever be good enough for the wonderfully--crazy--fire breathing--fiercely loyal--over bearing--incredibly funny person that she is. No one could ever measure up to what I thought she deserved. She deserved so much more than what all those guys had to offer.
Go away with your emotional baggage and the whole crappity circus, I would mentally bash them.
Rejected everyone remained.
Until one day.
Her: he’s amazing.
Me: who is?
Her: him.
Me: no he isn’t. no one can be amazing. I’m sure you could do better.
Her: you don’t even know him
Me: well, ok lets get to know him than. He mite be nice, but im sure, amazing he’s not.
Off I went to meet him and give my approval and blessings to the happy couple.
Female you’re doomed, you the rational one, you’re not thinking straight. Too much heart, not enough brain. don’t expect so much, Im sure he isn’t that amazing, I thought on my way there.
Two hours later, I came out thinking, not bad. Not bad at all
Two years later, Im thinking, he’s amazing! :D
The obsessive creepy psychotic guy that I expected.
Not there.
Instead I met this wonderfully warm and funny person who really actually loved her the way I thought she deserved to be loved.
No ego (amazing), no false pretences.
And he pampers her like crazy (ok, I admit, Im a bit jealous here :D)
And its not about just treating her right, although I think he is a genius at that.
What’s wonderfully surprising is the fact that he is a really really (I mean really!) nice guy.
A complete gentleman.
Good sense of humor, no creepy ickiness about him.
And amazingly no attitude problems.
I mean, really!
After two years of knowing him, I wanna dance my hop-around-be-happy-dance each time I think about them together.
P.S: I’ve been meaning to write this post since some time now, and now I have a writer’s block. Duno how to end it. I mean I could go on about how great he is and how perfect they are for each other. Like today, I commented to a friend, he’s a super banda. She laughed and said, the type whose twin you would want for yourself???
That made me think.
The way I saw it, I’m pretty ok with falling for anyone within the range of semi-psychotic to a little-normal. But for her, only the best would’ve done. For her, he is what I had always wanted.
Awesome u, Janni Bhai!
The very same way, I always thought no one would ever be good enough for the wonderfully--crazy--fire breathing--fiercely loyal--over bearing--incredibly funny person that she is. No one could ever measure up to what I thought she deserved. She deserved so much more than what all those guys had to offer.
Go away with your emotional baggage and the whole crappity circus, I would mentally bash them.
Rejected everyone remained.
Until one day.
Her: he’s amazing.
Me: who is?
Her: him.
Me: no he isn’t. no one can be amazing. I’m sure you could do better.
Her: you don’t even know him
Me: well, ok lets get to know him than. He mite be nice, but im sure, amazing he’s not.
Off I went to meet him and give my approval and blessings to the happy couple.
Female you’re doomed, you the rational one, you’re not thinking straight. Too much heart, not enough brain. don’t expect so much, Im sure he isn’t that amazing, I thought on my way there.
Two hours later, I came out thinking, not bad. Not bad at all
Two years later, Im thinking, he’s amazing! :D
The obsessive creepy psychotic guy that I expected.
Not there.
Instead I met this wonderfully warm and funny person who really actually loved her the way I thought she deserved to be loved.
No ego (amazing), no false pretences.
And he pampers her like crazy (ok, I admit, Im a bit jealous here :D)
And its not about just treating her right, although I think he is a genius at that.
What’s wonderfully surprising is the fact that he is a really really (I mean really!) nice guy.
A complete gentleman.
Good sense of humor, no creepy ickiness about him.
And amazingly no attitude problems.
I mean, really!
After two years of knowing him, I wanna dance my hop-around-be-happy-dance each time I think about them together.
P.S: I’ve been meaning to write this post since some time now, and now I have a writer’s block. Duno how to end it. I mean I could go on about how great he is and how perfect they are for each other. Like today, I commented to a friend, he’s a super banda. She laughed and said, the type whose twin you would want for yourself???
That made me think.
The way I saw it, I’m pretty ok with falling for anyone within the range of semi-psychotic to a little-normal. But for her, only the best would’ve done. For her, he is what I had always wanted.
Awesome u, Janni Bhai!
About a Boy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)