Just sad, but thats life

I love comics. My current favourites are Questionable content and Patches. In patches, Im not even sure what the two things are (hamsters , I suppose?) but its a great comic.

So, bored from stupid Commed, I came online and was looking through its archive when I came across this panel.

It reminded me of my grand father. Yeah, a comic reminded me of my grand father, although for some reason, I've been missing him a lot since the last couple of weeks.

So, if I haven't told you before, here is the low-down. My grand father (nana/mum's father) died a few years ago, on 5th January, 2003, to be exact. He had a stroke. Was on the floor when my aunt and grand mum (nani ma) found him. For three days, he was unconcious and drugged in the hospital and then he died. No good byes, no nothing. He went away just like that.

So a while ago when I was going through the Patches archive and I came across this comic, the first thing it reminded me of was my grand father. We all did our grieving for our own private loss four years ago. We are all still doing that in our own different ways. My mum's become hypertensive, my grand mother aged a hundred years all of a sudden. Like I said, everyone is still grieving in one way or another for their own private losses that came around with his death.

But for the first time, in almost 4 years since his death, I wonder what he felt, what he went through in the last four days of his life. I wonder what he was thinking right before his stroke. I wonder what he was going through when he fell down on the floor. I wonder what he felt when he couldn't speak a single word properly (because of paralysis) when my grand mother tried talking to him. I wonder what he went through at the hospital those three days, where his mind was while he was unconcious. I wonder if he knew he was going to die. I wonder if he had any thought left unsaid, any thing left undone, any wish left unfulfilled. I wonder if he had any regrets.

I miss him. I hope he didn't go through a lot of pain. And I hope he knew how much we all loved him. And I hope he is in Allah's good books and enjoying His mercy.