I first saw you a few years ago, and thought you were oh-so-good-looking and fine…
I waited for something else to appear.
A wicked sense of humor maybe...
kick-ass attitude...
originality...
amiability...
or a little character perhaps… ???
anything that could support your physical perfection…

So I waited..
And waited..
And waited…

I cant believe that **this**is all there is to you…
I cant believe how disappointed I am…
oh well..

The good, the bad and the ugly

2:00 am: Passing through Clifton:

I love these streets. Wide and wonderfully lit.
And there on the sidewalks, I saw people settling down into corners, getting ready to sleep. Torn worn-out clothes, unshaven faces, just a thin chaddar to cover themselves with through the night. These were the bad lot.

I looked at them and pitied their life. They chose to live on these streets, sleep on the ground, go hungry for days and all that for what? The momentary high that a needle prick provided? What a waste of life.

(Im told I suffer from a mental condition where I think too much.) Then I thought about the rest of us who had gotten it right. It being the concept, the logic, the gist of life. Were we any happier? Like rats in a maze, who keep running into the same corner again and again, or like the mouse running in the same spot in the small rudder who is made to believe what he is doing is essential for existence. Werent our lives much more empty and meaningless at times, with not even the solace of the same needle prick to look forward to? At least their high, when it came, was complete and perfect. Could we say the same for our elation?

Someone very close to me was (is?) into drugs… we were talking about it and I implied that its not something one should get involved in, yeh achey logo key karney key kaam nahi hain. He looked at me and said, does it change who I am? Does it make me a bad person then?

To date I havent been able to answer that.

Had this person not been an important part of my life, I wouldve promptly replied, yes it makes you a bad person. There’s a black area and a white area, the right and the wrong and you just crossed the line between it. So yes, that makes you a very very bad person. However knowing this person made all the difference. I dont think he is a bad person, havent ever thought that for a single minute. I guess feelings do that, make you biased to the faults of the people you love. To someone else he might be a junkie, an addict, a good-for-nothing but to me he is a friend who messed up somewhere along the way. A friend who's a vegetable under external influences most of the time, is nevertheless way better than someone who cant hold anything except his sick mind and perverted ways of thinking responsible for his actions.

This discussion made me wonder some more. So I was a good girl for not going near drugs. He did drugs but I didnt think him the true bad.

Question was… if a junkie didnt make it into this clique, who did?
If drugs dont make a person bad, then what does?

Word cloud... Saw this over at Casa's blog and thought of doing it too...:D

Ace Young.... chicas feast your eyes.... (haye, he doesnt compare to Bo.... but he's hot!!!! :D).... and so continues the American Idol madness.... 

Taylor Hicks.... (awww.... cutey shmootey...:D) 

Reality TV and me :D

Last night was one of the very few times in my life Ive been insomniac so now I have insomnia-induced endorphins running around and jumping off the walls... Soooooo I decided to grace you with another post... two posts in 24 hours... count yourself lucky... muahaaahaahaha....
(its the endorphins talking... i swear... :/)

Ive decided that Taylor Hicks is the cutest thing to hit TV with this years's American Idol. Ofcourse, Ace is the hottest, but we're talking about cute... so Taylor Hicks it is :D.... two reasons....
a. He reminds me of George Clooney
b. He is just SO adorable, george clooney or not!!! :D

So until further notice, he is my fave contestant for this year, and I repeat, Ace Young (really) is the hottest...

p.s: I wish they'd call Bo Bice on the show to judge or better yet, sing this year... that'll be IT for me :D

Hell is empty. All the devils are here...

10:36 pm
Today is another one of those days where I have SO much to say but here I am, the blogger page open since the last 15 minutes, and I have NO idea what to write.

Much later:

I remember reading somewhere once that app logo k aibo pey parda dalo, Allah ap key aibon pey parda dalein gey (Hide other people's flaws from the world, and Allah will hide your flaws from the world too).

I have my usual bitching sessions every now and then, consequences of being a human, but being the daughter of a mother who breathes and lives her morals and principles, I have more than my usual fair share of ethic-attacks on my poor little conscience.
Especially nowadays, im so majorly sick and annoyed of people slaggin each other off.
PLEASE! STOP ALREADY! If you hadnt noticed im so NOT interested.
Im sick and Im tired of your rantings about how evil he/she really is, how much they suck, and about how you are way better then them. I mean seriously, please stop talking already. If I really wanted to sit and nit-pick their flaws with you, I wouldn't be looking so constipated with my fake half-smile now would I? All you're managing to achieve with this tirade of yours is ruining your own image in front of me. So please, just go away, leave me alone.

And on a completely different note, the song for today is The scientist by Cold play:

Come up to meet you, tell you Im sorry
You dont know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start

Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart
Nobody said it was easy
Oh its such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh its such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
Im going back to the start

Note to self:

When we talked about the whole burning the ships behind you thing, I also meant the little life boat you keep for every now and then.

The Quartet Meme

Aisha insists (or so id like to think :D) to wake me from my slumber...

Four Jobs I've Had in My Life...
1. Baby Titan's tutor from grade 3 to grade 8.
And thats about it. Now that i think about it, i wasnt even paid for it, except for the usual Awwwwwww... but he's your brotherrrrrrr........

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have...
1. Meet Joe Black (what do u mean why?? Two words: Brad Pitt)
2. Romeo n Juliet
3. Dil Chahta hai
4. Little Women

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Quetta
2. Karachi (and that's it... )

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch
1. Friends
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Desperate Housewives
4. Lost

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation
1. France
2. Italy
3. England
4. Srilanka

Four Books I Love
1. Little women
2. Pride and Prejudice
3. Life isn't all ha hee hee
4. Parsa

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. Blog line up
2. Hotmail
3. Orkut
4. Msn groups

Four Favorite Foods
1. Pizza/ Burger n fries
2. Haleem
3. Fried Chilli (the way aayi makes them)
4. Fish n chips

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now
1. B-Adams concert (long story.. Sigh)
2. Somewhere on a nice beach
3. Paris
4. Home (with mum)

Four People Whom I Tag Next
1. Zuljin (I highly doubt he'll get around to doing it tho)
2. Sum
3. Tooth paste
4. Mahnoor