Among other news, my 3 and a half year old cousin is going to take over the word with his wit. We shall refer to him as Almost Famous here, well, because he is a TV star yaar.

Scene: Eid Day 1

Act 1: Almost Famous collecting eidi and pocketing it.
My mum: Thats a lot of money. Can I have some too?
Almost Famous: (looking down at his pocket zipper) it says here that take eidi from other people, put it in here but dont take any money out and give it to anyone else.

Act 2: After collecting a lot of eidi.
Almost Famous, feeling very rich and benevolent, announces: I will give a little money to whoever dances the best.
My grandmother nearly fainted.

Act 3: At dinner, his mum told him to sit quietly and have his dinner without talking.
Chicki was sitting almost 10 people away from him. She laughed at something I said.
Almost Famous: Baji ap baatein mat karein, khana khayein.

After 5 minutes, he started arguing with my dad about the concept of being Batman, Spiderman and Superman all at once.
Chicki: Almost Famous, you were telling me to have my dinner quietly aur ab app khud batein kar rahey ho.
Almost Famous: Mey baatein to nahi ka raha, mey to Bhai Jaan ko samjha raha hoon.

(N.B: My Dad is 56. He is also the most intimidating person Ive known in my life. My aunts and uncles call him Bhai Jaan. Almost Famous, 3 and a half years old, also calls him Bhai Jaan. Go figure. I have a weird family. My mum's inlaws call her Bhabi. My cousins also started calling her bhabi. Their mums were mortified and my cousins were strictly told to call her aunty. They said ok. Now they call her Bhabi Aunty.)

Act 4: Argument about super heroes culminated in a fight. Almost Famous had to be physically removed by his mother into another room. My dad went to check on him after a while.
Almost Famous: Ap andar mat ayein. I am still upset at you.

Notice the pattern? Yes, one day he will take over the world. And apparently, he has decided to start with my dad.
Note to self: Be nice to Hitler when he comes around calling for Almost Famous.