Losing yourself...

One of my very closest friends is getting married soon. Apart from thinking about what I wanna wear in her weddin (I should look better than everyone else, nai?) and how much I really really wanna come home to attend it, I got to do some ‘other’ thinking too.

The whole shaddi walla festive mood made me wonder about how my friend’s life s going to be different a few months from now. How different she herself is going to be the next time I meet her.
And it freaks the hell out of me, even though she is calm and as happy as can be.
She is busy designing her dresses while all I can think about is OMG somebody stop her, don’t do this, don’t do this :s

Crazy I am, that I know. But it is freaky.
Ur whole life changes the moment u sign a few papers that bind u with somebody else for the rest of ur life.
Not that I speak from personal experience. God knows, I am so not ready for anything even remotely related to this kind of a commitment.

Its not even like a new living arrangement or something. Its more drastic. A new place and new people (and im so phobic to the 2nd situation).
Everything changes.
Of course the docile and sheep-like females that we are, we are so ready to drop every last shred of the personality that developed over so many years. What u’ll see after the wedding is a sharmeeli and coy dulhan who will slowly evolve into a very common species of cow who agrees to everything her husband says. Where the enigmatic, smart and intelligent girl from before the wedding went, nobody knows.

What remains is a yes-sir.
Yes, I will wear what u like (doesn’t matter if I really wanna wear something else instead)
Yes, I will do parda (nobody shud look at me; of course the fact that u look at other women and forget to close ur mouth is a very slight minor detail. Can be over-looked. Not a problem)
Yes I will drop my male friends (if I had any in the first place that is. Of course we are fully aware of our sexualities and nobody can be friends without overlooking the other person’s gender. Not possible. And the fact that u, as my husband, know what their true intentions really are, is so remarkable. I mean, there is no place for any exceptions, right? And the fact that my parents have known my friends and their families all my life is not important. Right)

Of course I know marriage is a huge step and requires effort from both parties. Both the individuals need to compromise on many things to make that relationship work. Its not a me-me situation anymore, if u want it to work as an *us*.
But where we live, the woman is expected to do all the compromise, all the effort. Drop ur life, drop ur views, drop everythin u like and love.
Men = superior beings = not liable to any work or compromise
Fair… I think not
I duno, I guess its more our society than anything else. People aren’t willing to change. I dunno how long women are willingly ready to keep losing themselves in the name of a **happily married life**

Anyway, on a happier note, I wish my friend a very very happy life. :D
Personally, I think by now her mother is convinced that on my friend’s wedding day, out of the both of us, the one to cry her eyes out and faint will be… well, umm… me…
*grinning sheepishly*